Nurturing and Empowering The Dream - Architects of a New Dawn2024-03-29T12:15:41Zhttp://architectsofanewdawn.ning.com/forum/topics/nurturing-and-empowering-the?commentId=2227378%3AComment%3A68084&feed=yes&xn_auth=noHi AK:
I think that all of t…tag:architectsofanewdawn.ning.com,2009-05-07:2227378:Comment:733802009-05-07T04:12:37.211ZDawn May Adamshttp://architectsofanewdawn.ning.com/profile/DawnMayAdams
Hi AK:<br />
<br />
I think that all of the answers so far are right on, I don't have much to add.<br />
<br />
I certainly don't have all of the answers, or for that matter hardly any. However, I do think that the best we can do for our children is to give them as much LOVE and SUPPORT as possible, and be a GOOD EXAMPLE of what we want them to be. I'm not going to lie and say that I have always been that great example, for I had to learn the hard way how to become a wise mother, I tell them I LOVE them constantly,…
Hi AK:<br />
<br />
I think that all of the answers so far are right on, I don't have much to add.<br />
<br />
I certainly don't have all of the answers, or for that matter hardly any. However, I do think that the best we can do for our children is to give them as much LOVE and SUPPORT as possible, and be a GOOD EXAMPLE of what we want them to be. I'm not going to lie and say that I have always been that great example, for I had to learn the hard way how to become a wise mother, I tell them I LOVE them constantly, whether in person, in letters, or on the phone. They need to know that no matter what--they are LOVED. And I believe that love isn't necessarily what we SAY--I believe it's more of what we DO.<br />
<br />
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!!!! Depending upon our relationship with them will determine whether they believe us or not.<br />
<br />
If we want our children to grow up to be respectful, kind, loving, caring, and morally responsible human beings, no matter what vocation they choose, then show them how to do it from day one.<br />
<br />
Giving them some kind of spiritual upbringing is most important--at least to my way of thinking.<br />
<br />
I am a mother of four girls and three boys (plus 30 grandkids, & 15 GGrandkids) who haven't always necessarily done the right things, but none of them are in jail, and they've grown up to be pretty darned good kids with jobs and families, and pets and all the other stuff of life. I love them all unconditionally. There are a lot of things that I wish I could have done differently, but, life is what it is. I believe that everything happens for a reason. We've had to struggle through a good deal of trauma, but have survived, and we keep learning along the way. What the heck--life is a big schoolroom isn't it?<br />
<br />
Some of them have issues to be sure, but they all have a higher power that they live by, as does their mother who also has issues that stem from her own childhood--but then, don't most of us? :):) PEACE! Hi Iris,
I've often thought a…tag:architectsofanewdawn.ning.com,2009-05-03:2227378:Comment:720952009-05-03T13:22:46.528ZAkashicWreckagehttp://architectsofanewdawn.ning.com/profile/AkashicWreckage
Hi Iris,<br />
I've often thought about that, "what becomes of that soul's dreams and goals?" too. I used to kind of "get into it" with my ex husband, as well as my mother in law---when it came to encouraging and helping children to learn how to further their dreams. Some believe it is unrealistic, especially in this so called swiftly changing world we are in.<br />
<br />
If we look at so called society----we can each probably point to many examples of people in our lives, who are "living lives of quiet…
Hi Iris,<br />
I've often thought about that, "what becomes of that soul's dreams and goals?" too. I used to kind of "get into it" with my ex husband, as well as my mother in law---when it came to encouraging and helping children to learn how to further their dreams. Some believe it is unrealistic, especially in this so called swiftly changing world we are in.<br />
<br />
If we look at so called society----we can each probably point to many examples of people in our lives, who are "living lives of quiet desperation." I believe that a huge part of this has to do with NOT doing what they wanted to do when they grew up, and not being in alignment with their soul's purpose.<br />
Thank you for your comments!<br />
Blessings,<br />
AW<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<cite>Iris Obregon said:</cite><blockquote cite="http://architectsofanewdawn.ning.com/forum/topics/nurturing-and-empowering-the?page=2&commentId=2227378%3AComment%3A71907&x=1#2227378Comment71907"><div>Very powerful question:<br/> When we are not in alignment with our personal truth, or who we "want to be when we grow up," what becomes of that soul's dreams and goals?<br/>
My thought is that we begin to ask the questions with the intent of being open to receiving the answer.</div>
</blockquote> Very powerful question:
When…tag:architectsofanewdawn.ning.com,2009-05-02:2227378:Comment:719072009-05-02T19:08:41.092ZIris Obregonhttp://architectsofanewdawn.ning.com/profile/IrisObregon
Very powerful question:<br />
When we are not in alignment with our personal truth, or who we "want to be when we grow up," what becomes of that soul's dreams and goals?<br />
My thought is that we begin to ask the questions with the intent of being open to receiving the answer.
Very powerful question:<br />
When we are not in alignment with our personal truth, or who we "want to be when we grow up," what becomes of that soul's dreams and goals?<br />
My thought is that we begin to ask the questions with the intent of being open to receiving the answer. I agree with you, especially…tag:architectsofanewdawn.ning.com,2009-05-01:2227378:Comment:716902009-05-01T23:36:47.705ZAkashicWreckagehttp://architectsofanewdawn.ning.com/profile/AkashicWreckage
I agree with you, especially on the point you make regarding the attitude: "my child is the only thing that matters," being a part of what is wrong with the parental generation.<br />
I do, however, disagree with you a bit---it <i>is</i> about you (the general you, who are parents and those who also engage with our youth)---<i>it's about each of us and our actions and interactions.</i><br />
We do know it's important, and when we see what it produces, like that young lady who addressed the UN---we see that…
I agree with you, especially on the point you make regarding the attitude: "my child is the only thing that matters," being a part of what is wrong with the parental generation.<br />
I do, however, disagree with you a bit---it <i>is</i> about you (the general you, who are parents and those who also engage with our youth)---<i>it's about each of us and our actions and interactions.</i><br />
We do know it's important, and when we see what it produces, like that young lady who addressed the UN---we see that we have a far wiser generation that we are "raising," and they see the truth, perhaps with far more clarity, than we did at their age.<br />
Regards,<br />
AW Thanks AW for the personal ac…tag:architectsofanewdawn.ning.com,2009-05-01:2227378:Comment:716642009-05-01T21:45:25.632Zdrmikehttp://architectsofanewdawn.ning.com/profile/drmike
Thanks AW for the personal acknowledgment, however it is not about me. It's just that all kids need a chance, and the attitude of "my child is the only thing that matters" is what is wrong with the parental generation in general. I encourage that we network with other parents. Do activities together with other parents and with kids--like Amir has suggested we do hiking with his preschool friends recently, instead of doing it just alone. If you have older kids be there and support their…
Thanks AW for the personal acknowledgment, however it is not about me. It's just that all kids need a chance, and the attitude of "my child is the only thing that matters" is what is wrong with the parental generation in general. I encourage that we network with other parents. Do activities together with other parents and with kids--like Amir has suggested we do hiking with his preschool friends recently, instead of doing it just alone. If you have older kids be there and support their activities--be it track, swimming, dancing, music, art, or whatever! I'm very impressed with the young lady who addressed the UN in Rio (see front page of this AOAND). Now when I see that I say: "That's some kick ass parents!" What a blessing to hear the consciousness!<br />
<br />
In summary, it is a great for the adult and child to be part of a community of learning, sharing, and understanding with others. This positive approach bets any sort of lip service on the subject.<br />
<br />
Best,<br />
Mike Dr. Mike, thank you so much f…tag:architectsofanewdawn.ning.com,2009-05-01:2227378:Comment:713472009-05-01T13:42:42.606ZAkashicWreckagehttp://architectsofanewdawn.ning.com/profile/AkashicWreckage
Dr. Mike, thank you so much for your insights. I liked what you posted below, very powerful to acknowledge his presence as another child and allowing the respect to flow from you to him.<br />
<br />
<b>Mike said: "We are all responsible for peace, and it starts very young. I was a smallish boy, and was surrounded by fear for most of my formative life. Now I get to walk another boy through something, for which I had no teacher or adequate guide. And the next time we saw the so called "bully child" I made a…</b>
Dr. Mike, thank you so much for your insights. I liked what you posted below, very powerful to acknowledge his presence as another child and allowing the respect to flow from you to him.<br />
<br />
<b>Mike said: "We are all responsible for peace, and it starts very young. I was a smallish boy, and was surrounded by fear for most of my formative life. Now I get to walk another boy through something, for which I had no teacher or adequate guide. And the next time we saw the so called "bully child" I made a point that I personally acknowledged his presence as yet another child, and asked how has he been. My son even made a Valentines for him. What is an important lesson for that child, is that I respect him, and he see the importance that I place on my son's welfare so he knows that is not an appropriate place for any of his frustration. I can participate in Open House or other school activities where I get a chance to met the parents, and know a little bit about this boy rather than applying some false label, say like "bully" in this particular circumstance. I can move forward to creating a community."</b><br />
<br />
I think that what you've also shown, very specifically with this example, is that we are ALL stakeholders when it comes to the children of our communities and their dreams.<br />
It does begin young, and we must engage with our youth.<br />
Again, thank you Dr. Mike!<br />
AW FASCINTATING!
Thanks to you…tag:architectsofanewdawn.ning.com,2009-05-01:2227378:Comment:712442009-05-01T05:35:02.340Zdrmikehttp://architectsofanewdawn.ning.com/profile/drmike
FASCINTATING!<br />
<br />
Thanks to you all. Anyone who is getting to know me around here, know that I have the largest spot for the young people, especially now that I've reached that sacred parental classification.<br />
<br />
Foremost in answering the question namely: "How can we, as architects~~~~assist our younger co-architects?" I would say that we should address whatever adult child issues reside in ourselves. To whatever degree of variation there has been dysfunction in our families, let us as adults work to…
FASCINTATING!<br />
<br />
Thanks to you all. Anyone who is getting to know me around here, know that I have the largest spot for the young people, especially now that I've reached that sacred parental classification.<br />
<br />
Foremost in answering the question namely: "How can we, as architects~~~~assist our younger co-architects?" I would say that we should address whatever adult child issues reside in ourselves. To whatever degree of variation there has been dysfunction in our families, let us as adults work to halt those routes of transmission to the next generation. Although I personally have NOT gotten to that place where I am "living to be what we wanted to be when we grow up." I'm a work in progress, and it is not a thing of perfection today as an end result.<br />
<br />
What I can do for my son and other young people that I interact with is be real about that. I have to be courageous to share in honest and address that child with the respect that I want as well. Today I asked young architect on this website to refer to me as Mike, vs. the "Mr." referent that his very concientious parents have instilled in him to do (thisI I presume). He is an Architect is no different than I in this journey.<br />
<br />
To further illustrate how I deal with young people today, I want to talk about a "bullying" epidode with my son. When I saw a larger boy "roughing him up" in play, I took the boy to the side and spoke to him in no certain terms that it was not appropriate to handle my son in that manner (they are both around 5 years old). I let him know that play is one thing, but size does matter and there is always going to be someone bigger than him down the road. I'm not waiting for the teacher or the monitor to tell him what should be told right then and there. Moreover, I tell my son not to engage in that sort of play, least he is subject to getting tossed around and not feeling the better for doing so. We are all responsible for peace, and it starts very young. I was a smallish boy, and was surrounded by fear for most of my formative life. Now I get to walk another boy through something, for which I had no teacher or adequate guide. And the next time we saw the so called "bully child" I made a point that I personally acknowledged his presence as yet another child, and asked how has he been. My son even made a Valentines for him. What is an important lesson for that child, is that I respect him, and he see the importance that I place on my son's welfare so he knows that is not an appropriate place for any of his frustration. I can participate in Open House or other school activities where I get a chance to met the parents, and know a little bit about this boy rather than applying some false label, say like "bully" in this particular circumstance. I can move forward to creating a community.<br />
<br />
I have spoke in specifics, but in general, children simply have to be given the respect of that is commissurate with the sentient and wise creatures that they are. The have to be shown in the AFFRIRMATIVE (i.e., with positive reinforcement) how to live, instead of always being talked down to or having their feelings disregarded. I'm not perfect, but this is the type of man that I always wanted to be "when I grew up."<br />
<br />
Best, Mike Last night, for the first tim…tag:architectsofanewdawn.ning.com,2009-04-26:2227378:Comment:689892009-04-26T15:06:07.644ZAkashicWreckagehttp://architectsofanewdawn.ning.com/profile/AkashicWreckage
Last night, for the first time in a while, I had CNN on. There was a discussion on bullying in school and the recent suicide of an 11 year old boy, who was being bullied.<br />
<br />
It made me think about this discussion and how the issue of bullying is still with us.<br />
When my boys were younger, and I can recall it coming up when they were in kindergarten, I thought there was headway being made---<br />
Very sad...…
Last night, for the first time in a while, I had CNN on. There was a discussion on bullying in school and the recent suicide of an 11 year old boy, who was being bullied.<br />
<br />
It made me think about this discussion and how the issue of bullying is still with us.<br />
When my boys were younger, and I can recall it coming up when they were in kindergarten, I thought there was headway being made---<br />
Very sad...<br />
<a href="http://blog.schooltipline.com/topics/bullying/recent-bullying-victims-and-what-is-being-done-about-it">http://blog.schooltipline.com/topics/bullying/recent-bullying-victims-and-what-is-being-done-about-it</a> I wrote the following awhile…tag:architectsofanewdawn.ning.com,2009-04-24:2227378:Comment:685932009-04-24T17:10:40.803ZCandice Wilmorehttp://architectsofanewdawn.ning.com/profile/CandiceWilmore
<b>I wrote the following awhile back but this discussion reminded me of it. You may enjoy. If not into reading it, the main point is that if I'd had even one adult to encourage me at that tender age, my life might not have been so painful at that time. Still, the journey worked out, as you'll read, but I hope to be that support and source of hope for the young people I meet in my life now at age 60:</b><br />
<br />
Images and Deeper Desires<br />
<br />
I remember being about 12 years old sitting in church, looking…
<b>I wrote the following awhile back but this discussion reminded me of it. You may enjoy. If not into reading it, the main point is that if I'd had even one adult to encourage me at that tender age, my life might not have been so painful at that time. Still, the journey worked out, as you'll read, but I hope to be that support and source of hope for the young people I meet in my life now at age 60:</b><br />
<br />
Images and Deeper Desires<br />
<br />
I remember being about 12 years old sitting in church, looking at the statues, listening to the choir and feeling that life must be about something really, really important...that there must be something incredible I was supposed to know, to feel. I assumed it must have been related to God, love, truth...the usual suspects!<br />
<br />
I also remember feeling afraid, because I didn’t see those amazing ideals and concepts manifesting around me. I had a sense that no one was going to be able to help me. I would ask and the answers would be "just believe" or "it’s a mystery."<br />
<br />
Worst of all: "After you die."<br />
<br />
YIKES, you’re kidding? What a bummer for a little kid!<br />
<br />
Don't mistake my point. I'm not anti-religion. That has it's place and for some, it's a meaninful and personal choice. What I'm addressing here has no comparison to what religion teaches or offers. It's apples and oranges. Religion and faith simply didn't satisfy the deepest needs I felt inside. My memories of images like the one above are fond ones. That was something very inspiring when I was young. Some of the finest people I know practice a religion and since that never promised me a heaven on Earth, no harm, no foul.<br />
<br />
What I've found, though, is that what was longed for all those years ago is indeed possible; that I wasn't just some nutty kid with larger than life fantasies, looking for something that didn't exist for me in this lifetime. I have been fortunate to find something that allows me to feel that heaven, not after, but while I'm alive; while I can be sure; while I can enjoy.<br />
<br />
I'm glad I never gave up looking and asking, because now I can swim in an ocean of answers. Now I can feel something, a practical experience, and with that...the longing of that little girl, that longing that never left, is now completely satisfied. AA said: "and some of us are…tag:architectsofanewdawn.ning.com,2009-04-23:2227378:Comment:682952009-04-23T13:47:56.733ZAkashicWreckagehttp://architectsofanewdawn.ning.com/profile/AkashicWreckage
<b>AA said: "<u>and some of us are just barely getting a glimpse of what that sacred path is later in our lives (moi), and just beginning to allow it to expand and manifest -</u> i am very grateful for the interactions and examples courageous young people display in my world...it is inspiring to be open and learn from them! sometime they are not even being courageous, it is just who they are and how they are living their lives...so good to be able to share with them."</b><br />
<br />
I so agree with you,…
<b>AA said: "<u>and some of us are just barely getting a glimpse of what that sacred path is later in our lives (moi), and just beginning to allow it to expand and manifest -</u> i am very grateful for the interactions and examples courageous young people display in my world...it is inspiring to be open and learn from them! sometime they are not even being courageous, it is just who they are and how they are living their lives...so good to be able to share with them."</b><br />
<br />
I so agree with you, Amy! The courage that is there in our youth---in what many believe are challenging times, is so heartening to witness.<br />
You also mentioned "the sacred path," above---I believe that is SO important to nurture in our youth.<br />
<br />
When I was a teen, I used to have experiences and dreams---very real and yet surreal at the same time. When I was 18, I took transcendental meditation courses, and then other spiritual avenues opened up for me. One of them was a healing technique developed by Dr. Lawrence LeShan and Dr. Joyce Goodrich. We had healing groups that met, after we had been "trained," and it was amazing.<br />
<br />
I vividly remember, though, wondering how this was going to mesh with the reality of the life that I was leading then---and what would people think of me---if I chose that off the beaten path---spiritual path?<br />
<br />
So, it was put to the side and I did other things with my life.<br />
<br />
One day, decades and decades later, I asked my then husband----what did you want to be when you grew up---what was it that you wanted to do with your life when you were 12?<br />
He replied that he really wanted to be a veterinarian, but that his mother wanted him to be a doctor or lawyer--neither of which he ever had an interest in. I recall being surprised when he told me this, because I never knew this about him.<br />
<br />
I asked him why he didn't do it and his response was that he didn't believe that society supported that kind of choice for men---at that time. He said that it would have been an odd choice, too different to be accepted!<br />
So, even at that young of an age, 12, just by what he saw in those around him, what he really wanted to do with his life, went un-supported.<br />
<br />
AW