3rd Eye Retrograde~~~The Non-Sense Continues~~~

[AkashicWreckage]

3 Eye Retrograde Part 3
High Energy Alert


In Parts 1 and 2, we've learned how we can employ certain time honored exercises for clearing and releasing issues. These old energies must be released because they are holding our 3rd Eyes in the middle of our foreheads. Many people are really tired of the 3rd Eye being positioned there because it's hard to have bangs or long hair there; it's also hard for people with expressive eye brows and foreheads.
For years I thought I was seeing the grids and matrices, when the reality was that it was just a bunch of hairs that got caught in my 3rd Eye. God only knows how long those hairs were there---what a hot mess.
In order to transition to the New 4th Eye energies, it is highly important that we remove that 3rd Eye from its Comfort Zone.

4th Eye Preview---What to Expect When You're Expecting Your New 4th Eye

We've received conflicting reports from our undercover detectives who have had to constantly shape shift to avoid discovery by the Collective Consciousness.
One report suggests that with the brand spanking New 4th Eyes entering the Free Will Zone, that we can expect to see a LOT of 4's. You might see single 4's......... or....... you might see double 4's.
Be on the lookout for triple 4's and if you see the rare quadruple 4's, we suggest that you report this sighting to your Higher Self immediately.

Your Higher Self will know exactly what to do, so please try not to worry and trust in your Higher Self's connection with all of the other Higher Selves that are out there.
Higher Selves have been trained to deal with all of this nonsense, so just relax---there's no need to get involved. We'll call you if we need your help; that is what they're telling me to tell you, right now.

As with other secret missions, the Ascended Masters (Somewhat Ascended Masters, Almost Ascended Masters--- etc and ad nauseum) have issued a directive that basically states that time is of the essence. In other Time is of the Essence periods in the past, these Masters have ordered the suspension of time.

Time will be suspended for approximately a 2 week period. During this time of suspended time, which is no coincidence because it precisely coincides with Spring Break and the Vernal Equinox, ALL of the Ascended Masters will be on holiday. Please be advised that you should not engage in any Ascended Master meditations, nor attempt to channel ANY messages from them!

3rd Eye Retrograde and how it will impact:

Sagittarius and Sagittarius Rising

Did anyone ever tell most of you that your know it all attitude is getting old? No? Well..... now you know. It would be helpful during this time if you eased up on the argumentative stuff too. Yes... we are fully aware of exactly when your boredom meter hits full tilt. Yes... God forbid things remain the same for 5 or 10 minutes, there you go starting trouble just so YOU have something to do.

During this retrograde period, we have a few suggestions for you. First of all, start eating numerous chocolate honey dipped donuts---one after another, after another. Then, we want you to eat pizza and have a Corona. It's important that you do this because it will raise your vibrational energy to such a peak that hopefully you will be overstimulated and fall into an exhausted stupor.

Here are your step by step instructions to assist you in elevating your energies to a stupor:
First, we suggest you wait until the weather forecast calls for heavy rain in your area. Once you're sure it's raining, please put on your raincoat and galoshes.
Forget the umbrella. Walk outside, lock your door and start walking to the nearest Dunkin' Donuts.
No, you cannot drive there.
We call this an exercise for a reason.
Stop arguing with us, we know it's a 10 mile walk, that's the point.

Now that we've got that out of the way, don't lose sight of the rainbow, you eternal optimist, you!

As you are walking, turn your head to the sky and breathe in the wisdom of the Cumulonimbus clouds.
While you are focused on that, be on the lookout for the Arcus clouds, which have deep spiritual meaning for your soul.
Arcus clouds symbolize a bow or arch, which is a sign that you are close to reaching your destination.
Once you are at Dunkin' Donuts, place your order for a half dozen chocolate honey dipped donuts and you can just forget about slipping in one or two of the donuts that have frosting and sprinkles on them---we're onto your tricks and games.

Find a table in the corner, over by the window--- sit down and begin to eat the donuts, keeping your eyes on the clouds outside and be watchful for shapes and forms in the clouds, especially if they take on the image of your dog.

Okay..... fine! Yes, you can call a friend to pick you up and take you to the pizza joint. How did you know that was the next step?

Good lord, you win...............this time!


Capricorn and Capricorn Rising

Let me begin this section by saying that I'm going to ask that every single angel, arch-angel and guide on the face of the earth and beyond, to be with me right now. I need your assistance with this.
Because frankly, while I know that Capricorns are slow to anger---people like some of you just push every last one of my buttons.
How can I put this? Sea Goats, you're BS artists, plain and simple.
Oh, and how's the air up there?
And, by the way, how's that 2 sided conversation you're having with yourself?

Now that I've released that, with the assistance of the angels and guides, allow me to suggest the following to you:
Call out of work sick as soon as possible.
Yes, we know you've worked your way up to the top of the ladder through hard work and dedication, and we know that your executive abilities are second to none, that is admirable.

But you need to take a sick day in order to change your frequency to allow the 3rd Eye Retrograde energies to penetrate your 10th House of Social Status.
Once you've called out, rush out to the Produce Market right away.
Go find the garlic section and carefully choose at least 4 nice heads of garlic. Go pay for the garlic and then get back in your car and drive home. Oh, and on you way home, try not to make any last minute left turns.... from the right lane.

Once you are safely home, walk into the kitchen and take out a cutting board and sharp knife; peel about 25 cloves of garlic and then mince the garlic.
No, you cannot use a food processor or other device.
Once you have minced the garlic, take out 2 slices of fresh bread, whole grains are the best choice at this time.
Scoop the garlic and layer it all over one slice of bread, making sure that you use every little last bit of minced garlic.
Gently place the 2nd slice of bread on top.
If you like, take out a pretty little plate, a clean place mat, and a nice cloth napkin.
And, for a fresh look on your table, add a vase of cut flowers from the garden.
Put the garlic sandwich on the plate, lay the plate on the place mat, pull out your chair and sit down.
Stop looking at the piles of boxes of vitamin supplements that have taken over your living room area. Find your center of peace.
Say the following prayer:
Dear Garlic, thank you for the sacrifice you have made---you have been grown in Mother Earth, you have been harvested and sent to market. Bless you, Garlic, for providing me with nourishment. Amen.

At this point, begin to eat your garlic sandwich and do not get up from the table until you have finished every last crumb. You have a strong will and now is the time to prove that you can do this. Do not brush your teeth or chew gum.

Now we suggest that you pop over and visit one of your close friends, if you haven't pissed off the last few that were left, after you told them last week that you were organizing a local chapter of the Elect Rush Limbaugh for President campaign....
Sigh.
We need to really work with you, don't we?


Aquarius and Aquarius Rising

Recipe for change----add a gallon of that water you're always carting around with you, to the fruitcake someone gave you last Christmas, mix well until you have a gooey mess.
No, we will not take any of your incessant questions at this time.
Put the mess into a bowl, take out a spoon and eat it.
This will be good for you since you love to belch various nonsensical things after eating.
Now, we want you to focus your energy on why you may be the most annoying and aggravating sign of the zodiac.

Yes, we know that you are a thinker and that you care for the lot of humanity...but your preoccupation with the Illuminati and whether or not Kramer on CNBC is part of them, has your spouse thinking of divorce.

These 3rd Eye Retrograde energies will coalesce in your 11th House of Socializing---forcing you to look at yourself as it relates to friendship, groups, organizations, ideals, and, your feet.

We want you to channel your incredible energies into clipping your toenails, and while you're at it---gently use a grain scrub to exfoliate both of your feet.

To continue, pay careful attention to the following instructions, Aquarius, and again, forget about asking ANY questions:

We want you to take your bike out of storage.
Hop on your bike and pedal over to the Produce Market.
If you run into that Sea Goat, ignore, that's all we can say right now.
Find the banana section and carefully gaze at the shades of yellow and green before you.
This will help your solar plexus chakra release its control of your heart center energies and allow you to choose the best bananas of the bunch.
Carefully touch the bananas and if you are told to squeeze the bananas, please do so.
Take your selection up to the cash register and pay for the bananas with the change that you always have in a bag in your pocket.
Jump on your bike again, and rush home.

Once home, make your way into the kitchen without going on the Internet first.
Take out a small, sharp knife and lay it on the counter top. Walk back into the foyer and take off your shoes and socks.
Walk back into the kitchen and begin to slice 2 inch by 2 inch squares of the banana peel and don't stop until you have 4 sets of 4 squares.

Do not stop to think about the significance of the possibility that you are witnessing the energies of triple 4's.
This is only a ploy of your Higher Self, who is looking for some action with all this 4 stuff that will be happening soon.

Put the banana to the side for the time being.
Walk down the hall and go into the bathroom. Under the sink you will find the large bandages that you purchased on a whim several weeks ago.
Make your way back into the kitchen and take the piles of peels off the counter.
On your tip-toes, carefully make your way into your garage. Find a clean place to sit on the cold concrete.
Start layering the banana peels onto your right foot, and then use the bandages to secure the peels in place.
Repeat this procedure for your left foot.
Go outside and stand by recycling bin on the side of your garage.
Close your eyes, focus your energies on your 3rd Eye and then cross your two other eyes and maintain this position for approximately 44 minutes.

Keep the banana peels on your feet for a full day.
Additionally, please be advised that you must go visit friends and call upon strangers in your neighborhood that you've been meaning to meet up with.
Show everyone what is going on with your feet; peel back a bit of the bandage to show everyone what the peel is doing to your feet.
The banana peels on your feet will turn black and the skin on the bottom of your feet will begin to change and soften.
This will cleanse your body of toxins and will soon replace colon cleanses.
Lift any dietary restrictions you've placed on yourself, and this will free you up to eat anything you want as long as you keep banana peels on your feet.

Aquarius, you ARE the luckiest sign so far!

Pisces and Pisces Rising

As you flow with the tides of the oceans, resisting nothing, caught up in the swell of this path of least resistance-----------we beg you---------------- try hard not to keep comparing yourself to others.

This is your downfall, as your self esteem is constantly at odds with your life crisis cycles, which never seem to end. You flounder when the best you can come up with is that everyone else is wrong and are jealous of you! Forget your perceptions for a moment, appearances may be misleading---instead, please follow along as we lead you to yet another mall.

Once you are headed to the mall, begin to feel the energy in your colon rise up, mixing with the fire in your solar plexus.
Steam will rise up and make its way up to your crown chakra.
Hold this steam there for a few minutes, while you focus on driving.
Once at the mall, park over by Neiman Marcus.
Walk into Neiman Marcus and make your way over to the cosmetics.
The first perfectly made up woman that comes your way, follow her back to her counter.
Listen carefully for the next 2 hours while she talks about makeup, moisturizers, cleansers and serums. While she's applying makeup on your face, think of the new mask that you are creating.
Purchase at least $400 dollars worth of this idiocy, walk around the mall twice with the impressive Neiman Marcus shopping bag, then walk back over to Marshall's and buy a scarf.

Leave the mall through the Marshall's exit door, and wander around the parking lot looking for your car.
Once you are convinced that it's been stolen, call the Mall Guard, who will summon up the Mall Guides, who will then take you in their little golf cart, up and down the entire expanse of the mall parking lot.

After they find your car, which was hard to miss because it's needed a good washing for over a year, and you never bothered to take care of the large dent on the right rear side of your car---never mind that you had a water noodle thing--combined with a silk rose arrangement, held together with black electrical tape, which was necessary to hold that mess to your radio antenna.
You summoned up all of your creative energies to create that thing, just so YOU could find your car!
Thank the Mall Guide and send that old man on his way---he has better things to do.

Get in your car and head over to Whole Foods. Wander around the aisles, adding whatever strikes your fancy, into your cart.
If you forgot to get a cart, go back to the front of the store, past the cashiers, exit and start all over again. Go back inside and finish shopping.
YES..........we know that you are excited by all of the wholesome and healthy stuff you've chosen.
Finish up talking with the Have a Sample of This Nonsense, the Sample Giver Outers are peddling that Whole Foods offers----instead, head over to the other part of the store and buy some Black Bean Hummus and day old pita bread.

Pay careful attention now Pisces, this is your final chance today to help a lower vibrational human out of the rut they've been in.

In one of the last 2 or 3 aisles that you passed, there will be a middle aged hippie woman, with long hair and wearing a full length tie dyed sundress---don't be thrown off by the socks she is wearing with her Birkenstocks. Her socks, hand-knit by White Buffalo Woman out of leftover hand-warped hemp fibers--- well-----they don't really go with the dress.

Anyway, that's the woman you need to go up to and say, "Excuse me, the Ascended Masters have a message for you. They know that you've had some trying times but they say: Stay on your path, dear one." It is solely up to you Pisces, to deliver this message of hope and healing due to the vacation schedule of the The Ascended Masters.

Walk away as fast as you can.

After paying, exit the store, find your car again---this time find it without having to bother anyone else today. That ought to keep you busy for an hour or so.

Once home, take out the hummus and pita bread. Take out your blender too---add the hummus and pita bread into the blender, add pepper, lemon peels, egg plant parmesan leftovers, olive oil, a dash of protein powder and hit the blend button on your blender. If you forgot to plug in your blender, do so now. Take this mixture, put it into a nice cup, grab a saucer, and go out and sit by the lake behind your condo. Dangle your feet in the waters in front of you, raise your cup up, and summon Mother Earth energies to surround you. Once you feel this vibration pulsating within you---drink from the cup of wisdom!

You are powerful, now!

In closing, Earth Students, the following bulletins have been issued by the Grid Guards:

Lane closings will continue, as work proceeds along the Upper Chakra Causeway out there along the highways and byways of the Grids, Matrices and beyond the great beyond.
You may feel hungry, jittery, experience occasional gastric upsets, and a tingling sensation near your Ear Chakras, which as fate would have it, happen to be ruby red in color and are located at the sides of your temple.
If you hear anything out of the ordinary, please be advised that it's probably not your imagination. With all the construction work going on, we're hearing that many people are experiencing a ringing noise, snippets of Larry King Live---peppered with the sound of spittle leaving Chris Matthews' auric field.

We've also heard a rumor, which we're trying to confirm, that the 2012 Mayan Baktun, combined with Muluc, Ben, Cimi, and their ongoing battle with the Chemtrails that have criss-crossed the skies along various sections of the United States and Great Britain, will usher in, finally, the energies of great change.

Things may get out of hand for a while and we encourage everyone to prepare their 2012 Survival Kits asap.

Everyone should run out right now and go find an Asparagus Reader. He or She will have a special message for you, that he or she will read from the tips of the asparagus.

I have to leave now and clean my floors, take a shower and run to the grocery store...
Take care and wish me luck as I navigate my way around this thing called Mundane Life in The Realms....