Does Self Appreciation Affect Your Experiences and Results?

[Joyce Shafer]

Whatever you believe about how to achieve desired results, your outcomes ARE affected by how much self-appreciation you feel. It's the same for how you engage your experiences.

Let's imagine you agree that . . .
How your attention (emotionally-charged thoughts) is focused (exercised or applied) directly relates to what you give, receive, and experience more of; and that
How you experience others and events in your life, at the inner level, is a direct result of—how your attention (emotionally-charged thoughts) is focused (exercised or applied).

Your level of self-appreciation will cause you to create (or perceive) reflected experiences that support enjoyment, fulfillment, prosperity (according to your definition), and good relationships OR anxiety, challenges, lack (according to your definition), and discord.

Others sense, at a subconscious level, your level of self-appreciation, and this guides how they engage with you. They sense (and observe) whether you’re comfortable “in your own skin” or you’re not—and they act on this, consciously or not. This affects experiences and outcomes in your personal and professional life areas.

How often do you set out to create something (product, workshop, business, book, work of art, meal, date, relationship, etc.) that your primary desire is to enjoy engaging the experience—and, observing how you “dance” with the dynamics—without attaching any concern about how the outcome will demonstrate your worth or value?

If this IS your approach, yes, you'd enjoy or prefer a particular outcome; but you don't allow any NEED for it to happen—or to happen a specific way—to limit the outcome or how you experience the journey. When you engage fear, doubt, or any negativity about anything you choose to do, you create (feed) a reflected experience and outcome. Think of the computer term GIGO: Garbage In, Garbage Out. Self-appreciation is all about valuing and making the most of your inner and outer journey. Do this, and the treasure you seek is found—you’re it.

Other Aspects of Self-Appreciation

Self-appreciation means you know your value and worth are not dependent on outcomes or approval from others. It keeps you tuned in to what and who is and is not appropriate for you.

Self-appreciation opens you to practice beneficial self-assessment and adjustment rather than negative, harsh self-judgment, especially when you wish you’d managed yourself differently in a situation.

Self-appreciation enhances compassion and empathy for others—because it’s easier to see how the lack of this in another causes them to struggle in life more often than not. You allow yourself to engage in the ongoing process of expanding self-awareness. You appreciate your willingness to do this. You appreciate that the process is not always easy (or self-evident)—for you or for others.

Self-appreciation guides you to pick your “battles” and to engage these with integrity and willingness to co-create a productive resolution, particularly because it’s exhausting to keep fighting the same battles (often the same issue masked as something else) because you haven’t addressed them constructively—from the inner or outer level, as needed.

Self-appreciation allows you to choose and enjoy new projects or goals, without negative or needy money attachments, which leads appropriate others to want to engage with you. A monetary expression of appreciation from others is, in fact, a reflection of self-appreciation.

Self-appreciation allows you to engage new inner and outer “territories” with a greater sense of adventure than any concern about whether you’re “good enough.” You know “where you are” when you start anything is “good enough,” and you embrace and enjoy improving at anything you choose to do.

Self-appreciation lets you aim at and do what you know is right for you rather than what others try to impose on you. You trust your Self.

How can you expand self-appreciation?
*Appreciate that every day you "show up," even when feeling challenged.
*Appreciate that you are, in fact, more creative and innovative than you may currently practice.
*Appreciate that you've always been engaged in the process of expanding your awareness and unique self-expression; are in this process now and always will be—whether you choose to experience this as progression or regression.
*Appreciate the Truth is that your value and worth are not dependent on any monetary connection, outcomes, or opinions of others. Release of fearful, doubtful, or needy energy allows your "reflections" to be ones you appreciate more often than not.
*Start noticing what you do right and well.

Take a moment to feel true self-appreciation every day and especially when you feel inclined to doubt your Self in any way. You are here now. YOU will never happen again. How do you choose to play "my life" while here? Expand your self-appreciation to enhance your experience of this. Share the good feeling this gives you by expressing appreciation of and to others, especially if you tend to withhold this from them. Appreciation—in all its forms—feels remarkable. Whether from others or from ourselves, it acts as fuel for us.

Genuine self-appreciation changes your life. The desire to feel this is the all-important first step to shift it—if a shift is needed.

You are what you practice.
© 2010, Joyce Shafer