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Birthing Heart in a gap of heartlessness

In order for me to have learned how to relax first, I had to accept where I did not love and trust me. This acceptance was more than the idea of seeing this but having to face and change what I was doing and believing that led to my heartlessness way of being. I had not wanted to tell myself the truth that where I did not love me heartlessness abounded and it was there that I had not given acceptance to what I lack self acceptance for.

Self love demands that I make decisions that reflect my love and that I experience through my actions my love. These experiences are not to be predicated on what someone else thinks or might feel. My experience of loving me is undoubtedly mine and mine alone. As an adult they are no longer influenced by another. However, if I have not addressed my blind assumptive beliefs that I had assumed to be true because my parents who loved me had said they were true, then I will perpetuate a blindness that can only be liken to heartlessness.

Heartlessness is the same as lovelessness. I likened them both to a denial about me that is soaked in silence but acted out in my reality. Self love means when I see my heartlessness I do whatever it takes to change it and birth heart where heart had been denied existence inside of me. To change the world I have learned means to change who I am so the world has an example of can be different, then what lies hidden and filled with fear inside of a trance of silent denial, that is housed in a deep dark forest; where right is considered to be wrong and wrong is considered to be right; and love is mistaken for weakness.

Self love and trust has the courage to stand against such onslaughts. The onslaughts are created by what I refer to as the gap. The gap is the place in me where I have stored everything I have not had acceptance for and I pretend that all of my denials are true. Having love for me means I'm willing to go into my gap and give to me what had not been previously born inside of me. Then I can relax and know that the world is not out to get me.