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Close incounter with love and death

My Joureny with The God Docta MuRa(h)
Current mood:awed
Category: Life
Docta MuRa
The Adventure: Journey of New LIfe
Summer 2002-Fall 2006
One. ?
The beginning was magical and bumpy, like a whirlwind of energy. The wind before a storm with lightning and thunder close enough to be comfortable. He was a manifestation of what I'd longed for and yet he was in his own way a warrior of spirit far more devoted than either of our thought conditioned selves could have known. Our love was our stresses and our stresses cured generations of pain. We were connected by the Red Road, the spiraling winding path of spiritual devotion. I was his answer and He mine in a way I barely overstood. We flew through experiences like water down a mountain toward the Ocean. I can remember the emotional journey as much as the physical. I felt as warm and flowing as the hot springs we made love in and as cold and still as the freezing winters of the north woods. He was my king and I was his queen, elemental royalty of seasons changing. We ruled our reality as we adventured beyond boundaries and through initiations of procreation. Peaceful and powerful both of us lived as the link to future generations of healers.

Wisdom
Sometimes even peaceful people can make disharmonious decisions and the road will become rocky. My emotional landscape with the good Docta MuRa was a jagged hillside overlooking a beautiful river valley flowing all the way to the beach lined ocean. Majestic and very intense climbing with trials all along the path. Elation, uncertainty, assured knowing, confusion, love and bitterness were all woven into the landscape. Heavy rain washed away insecurities leaving only truth and substance, with little bits of resentment. Love shinned upon the bare soil and sprouts popped up to cover the nakedness of past abuse. Though these storms were at times extremely intense they were indeed needed to clear out invasive and dying areas of my emotional landscape. Making way for new life was the coarse we chose and it was a road of strengthening patience. Patience and compassion were the nutrients I received from the heavy rain. Thunderous internal and external battles jarred free the heavy tears that broke the emotional dam and sent the rivers rolling down the hillside. Although these storms wore down the soil and caused some flooding of emotion, they were over all healing and in reflection they are the beginning of the end of bitterness, pain, and sorrow.

Initiation of a the Mother and Father
The winter was ending and the spring was on the horizon. The thawing of the heart was at hand, he called to me from the depths of my doubt and fear to trust in the flow of the divine. "Phenomenal Woman," he wrote, "so cunning, so stunning. Beautiful and melodic like the melody I'm hummin', radiant, peaceful phenomenal woman". I stepped into the Goddess of myself for a season and allowed the juices to flow freely from my heart out through my womb. Opening to the infinite potential of creation. Mother and father born through a ceremonial celebration of fertility, conception in the flesh from a seed planted in the spirit. Open armed we became forever one that spring, grew together through the summer and fall, and harvested the divine fruit during the winter. Born in beauty through the vessel into the water, our little one came in our home. Our son came into the world like we'd begun, in a whirlwind of energy. After the wind slowed we held him in our protective hearth and nurtured him through to spring in peace and stillness. The rains of our emotional dance began again during the summer after the reigning year of fertility. As our journey together progressed so too did the waxing and waning of our love and bitterness. Still novices in forgiveness, we explored the emotional realm with wind and fire. Holding onto deeply buried emotional pain kept us from being able to completely open our hearts to each other and fear of reoccurring patterns of hurt held us in a state of emotional immaturity. Seasons past as we both grew closer and at the same time farther apart. Together we explored parenting and loved unconditionally our beloved seed. We rode huge waves of experiences through uncharted waters. He was always my King and I his Queen, even when things seemed too intense for comfort. Yet always the warm sun would thaw our hearts and restore our love. This love was not an easy journey, it was a trial of the heart and an adventure of the soul. Despite our commitment to our child and each other harmony was never fully present and so the Great Spirit transformed the nature of our relationship into one of peace and tranquility. Blessed be.

The God Docta MuRa: Supernatural Health Physician
God Docta MuRa was a disciplined, passionate and dedicated servant of the Most High. His ability to see clearly through illusions to the deepest spiritual truth was profound. Docta MuRa was a master of his body, mind, and soul. His life was filled with powerful ancestors who assisted him in all he did. He was a healer, capoierista, phenomenal father, teacher and a souljah of truth, justice and equality. God MuRa, co-creator of his own destiny, Supernatural Health Physician remains a highly evolved spiritual being. In life he was like an archetype of health and wellness. His body reflecting so much self love and discipline was sculpted in a divine strength and grace. His mind held affirmations of his highest potential like water holds a reflection. And his soul is the great darkness that births all of creation and the luminant wholeness of life itself. God Docta MuRa held many duties to himself and Allah and called himself many things. He said his "Scenes of a Master" were "capoierista, teacher, master student, father, get open doctor7, writer, poet, best friend, leader, listener, artist, MuRah All-wise Warrior Best Knower Allah. "As much as this man focused on his spiritual growth and development, his death was a conscious passing into the next life as Allah's intention for the highest good of himself, his loved ones, and the world at large. For MuRa's faith was so strong in Allah's plan that he listened wholeheartedly and followed fearlessly into his destiny. I honor and respect him so greatly for I see death as a blessing and an opportunity of great enlightenment. I can feel him with me as an omnipresent oneness in my womb, a renewal of his spirit so deeply, and a tiny beautiful new life unfolding. He is the Supernatural Health Physician healing beyond the confines of body, mind, or emotions, and crossing the barriers of the Veil to allow his spirit to touch all who felt him in life. Modern Medicine Man with ancient roots and eternal presence, MuRa was born beyond space and time as ancestor to all people and in his life he was also man of flesh, feeler of pain. When life conditions are tough the knowledge is great, however, when they are disciplined and nurturing then life thrives and wisdom is passed on. This is the fate of his seeds and thus himself. The journey of sustainability of soul, mind, and body is the journey of God Docta MuRa for he overstands what awaits us after death and he also comprehends the mission of life itself.
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Staying to Raise the Seeds
After all this I remain and contemplate my life and my death, holding within my womb his flesh and blood. Reincarnation of the body, will the soul follow? I wonder and know to myself. We were like the wind and the rain, the rivers and the earth, hurricanes and spring showers, waterfalls and slowly passing flow. Peaceful and turbulent we had our times of challenge along with deep unconditional love. A love that taught me respect beyond words and sweet, compassionate forgiveness. I have learned the power of patience, discipline, and focus and experienced what sustains me from the inside. My faith is strengthened exponentially and my desire to do right by MuRa is unshakable. In reflection I can see all the blessings he shared with me and recognize the things which caused discord as learning lessons for my growth. Those things which were at the eye of the storm were lack of communication, deeply ingrained distrust, insecurities, agitated emotional wounds unable to heal, and undefined personal boarders. All other discord were symptoms of imbalance. Compassion, empathy, forgiveness, and strength are all attributes that I've learned from sharing a part of my life with the God Docta MuRa. I've also embodied wisdom, co-creation, responsibility, and a Goddess. I thank the Creator of All for intertwining our paths, the birth of JangaRa Zumbi, the life in my womb, and the wisdom MuRa blessed us with. I will strive with all my mind, heart, and soul to raise our children into their greatest selves and teach them what an awesome and inspirational father created them. Bless the seeds.

Overstanding Little God
JangaRa knows that his father has transformed and yet he still lives inside of his little beating heart. His amazing perception of the loss of his Abba in the physical world has been one of open acceptance. When he saw his Abba on the table at the funeral home he was very conscious of the fact that his spirit was not inside his body. He turned to me and said "My Abba died. Abba happy. He in the womb." Then his innocent little spirit explored the space and his emotions. He has been flowing in the waves of emotion that come with the loss of a beautiful role model and father. The way that he flows through the process is profound, not holding on to any one feeling for too long, and living fully embodied in the pure present. JangaRa has been my pace setter, inspiring me to be as fluid and accepting as he is, a pure wave of awareness and genuine feeling. I believe that it is his connection to source and a closeness to what lies beyond the veil of this life that allows him the ability to truly overstand his father's transformation.

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