The Jesus Bulletin~~~
Emergency Channeling from Ascended Master ~Jesus.
This just in folks.
Buckle your seat belts.
Ever since I began to hear music, I've wondered where it was all leading.
Well, today, I found out in a big way!
Ascended Master Jesus, paid me a rare visit.
I wasn't sure it was him, until he brought in St. Jude
Once Jude arrived, I knew something was cooking in the Upper---
They both tried to sit me down and Jesus was moving about quite erratically.
Jesus grabbed me by the arm and sat me firmly in a chair.
St Jude pulled out a flashlight and pointed it at my eyes, blinding me.
And Jesus put duct tape on my hands to prevent me from typing.
I was in a pickle, and I needed prayer and something else, before things really deteriorated.
I closed my eyes and relinquished my soul.
I felt movement in front of me.
And Jesus began to talk.
"I can't stand your name, AkashicWreckage, but you're in this free will zone set-up, and I can't stop you." Jesus began.
Jesus paused for a moment, his hand stroking his well trimmed goatee.
I couldn't see this with my eyes, because St Jude had blinded me.
So Jesus was communicating to me through word pictures that he projected onto an almost deserted part of my brain.
Since I'm so well balanced---
Right brain and left---combined with my Libra balancing act---
Always keeping one foot in this world~~~
And the other foot out there somewhere in the Ethers and Realms~~~
And, of course~~~
Right outside the Kingdom of God.
Jesus was projecting all of this into the most under-used part of my brain~~~ right on the top---just left of center.
That's how I knew he was stroking his goatee.
"What should we do with her?" I heard Jude whisper to Jesus.
"Hey Jude! I can hear you two whispering." I whispered right back to them.
"Jude, she's been a problem ever since that meeting right before she incarnated back here." Jesus said quietly, to Jude.
"Don't you remember, Jude?
The Soul Directors were furious with her antics, and, she had several departments, up in the Kingdom of God (LLC), in an uproar for literally years!"
"Jesus, what are you talking about?" Jude questioned, moving closer to Jesus, and yet keeping the flashlight shining in the direction of my eyes.
"Well Jude, the logical place to begin is before this lifetime.
It must begin in that place between lives where The Soul reviews the Lessons contained in what just took place, right before they bit the bullet---
And what additional lessons are needed to continue the Soul's growth.
That place where a soul makes its own Judgments-
Meets with its Guides and plots the course for the path ahead.
It was in just such a place that Akashic met with the Directors, and the other souls, who were also choosing their lessons. We tried to reason with her, but she was stubborn, and clever.
She had us all fooled, which is why we allowed her to re-incarnate back in the early 50's."
Jesus looked over at Jude and said, "I'm going to allow you to listen to what Metatron scribed in The Book of Akashic Wreckage."
In a flash, Metatron was there, opening a well worn thick book, with faded golden leafing on the edges of each page.
Clearing his throat, Metatron began to speak, his finger tracing its way across the page:
"Right before Akashic's soul entered human form, we knew she'd be stirring up shi(f)t wherever she went.
She was always starting trouble, questioning things, thinking up mischief, pulling others into her plots and plans.
We had no idea just how difficult a soul she would be."
Metatron paused and then continued-
"AkaWreck dabbled in making Metaphysical Mayhem when she was just 4 years old.
She got herself all hysterical because she wanted St Christopher to come visit her, and God went instead.
She didn't care that it was God's lap she was sitting on, she wouldn't settle for God---she wanted Christopher.
Her endless sobbing about this, finally brought her parents into her bedroom to comfort her."
"That was only the beginning." Jesus began reminiscing.
"Metatron, remember that time she thought she might be Jewish because people told her that she had Barbra Streisand's nose?
She interrogated her parents, continuously for days, until they finally lied and told her she was Barbra's love child. Her family had to endure her inability to carry a tune, as she went about the house singing "The Way We Were."
Metatron let out a hearty laugh, and began giggling as he said,
"OMG Jesus! Hold on! Hold on! I can't stop laughing! Oh God, remember that time in college?
When she used to go around telling everyone she had ESP and that she was a good Sender?
A bunch of her friends were in the college cafeteria one day.
And AkaWreck was boasting about being able to send images to people's brains.
She bragged that she was so good at it, that people would get the images and words instantly."
"Oh Jesus Christ!" Metatron could hardly speak, tears beginning to run out his eyes from laughing so hard.
Metatron continued, between fits of laughter,
"She would write down a word of the image she was going to send to the person sitting opposite from her at the table.
One of her friends was right behind her and she had NO clue!
Her friend was looking over her shoulder as she was writing that down, and then HE wrote it in large letters on a piece of paper.
When she began to concentrate on sending that word to the other person, her friend held up that piece of paper so the Receiver would know what she was sending!"
Jesus joined in, almost doubled over with laughter,
"Metatron, she believed she had The Power--- for what---like a half hour before her friends told her what was going on?
What a pisser that was!"
"But, " Jesus said, "seriously, we have to get her to do what we need her to do, and we have to make sure that she thinks that it's her own brilliant idea.
I need her to channel a Message from Me, and I need her to do this soon!"
I must have lost consciousness while all of that was going on.
When I came to, I was quite cranky.
Here I am---
I could be doing other things with my day---
Maybe I should just set up a Clear Channel with Jesus---
Yes, I would channel Jesus, the Grand Poo-pah of Ascended Masters!
And, I, yes I---would channel his Message of:
~~~And Complete Truth~~~
~~~And Unconditional Love~~~
Side bar: I just want to say that I am personally relieved to hear myself channeling this stuff right now---
Jesus has let me get away with whatever crap I want and he's always right there~~~ End side bar.
Jesus states clearly:
"My Message---The Christ Message---
Is 100% True.
It IS Unconditional Love."
1 Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels-
But have not love-
I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers-
And understand all mysteries and all knowledge-
And if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains-
But have not love-
I am nothing.
If I give away all I have-
And if I deliver up my body to be burned-
But have not love-
I gain nothing.
Love is patient and kind.
Love does not envy or boast.
It is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way.
It is not irritable or resentful.
It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things-
Believes all things-
Hopes all things-
Endures all things.
Love never ends.
As for prophecies, they will pass away-
As for tongues, they will cease-
As for knowledge, it will pass away-
For we know in part and we prophesy in part-
But when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child~~
When I became a man, I gave up childish ways~~
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face-
Now I know in part-
Then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
So now Faith, Hope, and Love Abide, These Three~~
But the Greatest of These is Love.
Christ is saying to us now--
"If you want to know how to live your life and set your mind, look at the Beatitudes."
"Wreckage pay attention! This is important," he growls over at me, then continues...
"I and The Father are One, I AM, that I AM."
"Or," Jesus says, "Kinda like~~~
A Man, a Plan, a canal, Panama!
Figure it out people!"
I bring to you-----Through AkashicWreckage----- 15 .8. 2009