From the time I first watched The Wizard of Oz and heard Judy Garland singing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow," I felt as if the song was speaking my heart. To this day, I know that what I felt as I first watched this movie when I was but a 7 year old girl---is a truth of my spirit and soul.
Over the years since I was a child, watching the yearly presentations of The Wizard of Oz---the truth of what I felt then, has remained a constant---
What is hard to wrap a child's mind around---that over the rainbow, dreams really do come true---came flooding back to me. I was pulled back into my dreams, way back in time~~~
To a place that I hadn't returned to...to a place that had remained the same---despite the passage of time.
When first the hint of this idea, of this place, of a new Crone Community was discussed with Jeanne, it felt right; it felt necessary---
With the daunting task of trying to organize my thoughts and my mind unfolding, I felt overwhelmed. I've often retreated from deadlines, but thought I had left that in my past.
I felt a sense of pressure (not from anyone) but within me---and I began to shut down---the creativity that is an almost constant buzz within my head (in addition to all the voices!)---seemed to have left me.
I wondered if I had bitten off more than I could handle.
I've been known to do that often in my life.
But I thought I had left that in my past too.
Somehow, from somewhere~~~
Something began to happen~~~
As I felt trapped into producing what comes from the inner me~~~
A voice within me suggested that I go to my closet and take out a huge box of mostly pictures, that I've been meaning to go through for a long time.
I didn't know why I was looking at the pictures, snippets of a me---
Different me's---from different times---
Filling me with emotion, feelings, memories~~~
I could feel myself going back in time and back into my mind~~~
From one time---back to another place in time, and another and another.
To today---when I found typewritten pages, of my thoughts, my feelings---my journey into the inner me---that had begun somewhere in time.
A reunion of the me as a child~~~
As a young girl~~~
As a sister~~~
As a teen~~~
As a 20 year old~~~
As a young woman in her 20's~~~
As a daughter~~~
Then into her 30's~~~
As a wife~~~
As a mother~~~
The pictures, the snippets of me, begin to slow down~~~
As I grew older, and changed...
There are no pictures of me from even a year or two before the cancer diagnosis~~~
Or in the immediate years after that time~~~
A very few number of pictures of the divorced, unpartnered me~~~
Or of the emerging me now~~~
Perhaps the pictures, and the thoughts of myself were saved to be viewed now~~~
From a vantage point of the rainbow~~~
That has brought me here~~~
Link to Crone to the Bone ~~ http://cronetothebone.ning.com