Weekly Tidbit: Puppy Paws on the Blanket

[Charly Hill]

One day some years ago I was at Muir Beach in northern California with my dog Toby. Toby was a really great dog, but he had a nasty habit of rolling in things that smelled bad. Well, on this day he found a ripe stinky dead fish and had a very vigorous back roll on it. And then, being delighted with the experience, he wanted to share the joy and snuggle up next to me while I was reading on my blanket. I did not like the idea of being cozy with a fetid dog, so I spread out a towel for him downwind and instructed him to lay himself down on it. When he did, I returned to reading my book. Within a few minutes there was a white paw next to me on my blanket. I looked at it and thought about what happens when you let a camel put his nose in your tent. And also thought about how I did not want to ruin the energy of this beautiful beach day by chastising him, so I just picked up the paw without comment and put it back on his towel. Less than a minute later it was back on my blanket and I returned it to his towel, again without saying anything. This went on for probably 6 or 8 more times until finally I heard a deep sigh and Toby settled down for a nap. The paw did not return, and I was grateful for the undisturbed beauty of the day and especially for the breeze blowing sweetly over us carrying his pungent scent away.

Afterwards, I thought about how this mirrored an approach to changing human conduct as well as canine behavior. To simply hold an intention (no stinky dogs on blanket), inhibit behavior that does not support that intention (pick up the paw to prevent further intrusion) and redirect the action to support the intention (return paw to towel). So if I want to change a behavior or thought pattern, I can apply the protocol of "puppy paws on the blanket" with the recognition that I may have to repeat the process over and over and over until the new response settles in. That is the part that Toby taught me.... to be gently and firmly persistent. Too often, we give up after the second or third try and then need a crisis to bring our attention back to the now dramatic need for change. Determine your desired change, break it down into manageable pieces, attend to each step with loving attention and repeat as needed. We have the ability to change ourselves, and sometimes we can use a guide to show the way.

May you be well,
Charly Hill
www.conversationsforchange.com