Architects of a New Dawn

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Charly Hill's Blog (47)

Weekly Tidbit: Ways of Change

Have you ever wanted to change something about your life but found that despite your best intentions you kept on doing the same thing? Maybe you wanted to get more exercise .... or be more loving .... or to change what and how you eat. And somehow you 'forgot' to go to the gym, or reacted instantly to that other person's behavior with anger.... and ate that whole bag of chips. Change can be really challenging when different parts of us have different agendas, and that is often the case when we… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on February 3, 2010 at 5:25pm — 3 Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Adventuring

I named my coaching business "Conversations For Change" because I believe it is in our conversations that we hold the keys to how we create our life on a daily basis. We are constantly engaged in conversation with others and with ourselves that promote change or argue for the status quo. Some of our most powerful conversations are inside our heads and many of them occur beneath our conscious awareness as we focus our attention on the activities of the day.

These inner discussions are… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on January 27, 2010 at 6:48pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Feeling Bad About Feeling Bad

Feeling bad about feeling bad usually leads to more feeling bad. These are two separate issues that are often jumbled into one. Feeling bad in response to a physical or emotional wound is a normal response and appropriate for a period of time. Part of having all of our emotions includes permission to feel bad. We need to acknowledge suffering and we need to allow it to be finite, to be able to differentiate feeling and wallowing. It is not an easy task to determine that fine line, especially… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on January 20, 2010 at 7:51pm — 2 Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Observation

I remember a day that I was undergoing a root canal and had planned to use self hypnosis to deal with the pain of the surgery instead of chemical anesthesia. My dentist had become so accustomed to me using hypnosis for minor dental procedures that he assumed I was ready to go before I had put myself in the necessary mental frame. With a mouth full of dental devices and an approaching drill, I felt a moment of "not ready!" panic and then let it go in order to find a place in my body that was… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on January 13, 2010 at 8:50pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Celebrating Personal Diversity

We humans are pretty amazing creatures with our continuum of diverse abilities. Our basic nature has the dual essence of physical life and spiritual connection, and the construct of our brain and body allows for a multitude of talents from gymnastics to rocket science and everything in between. We can think, we can feel, we can do, we can be, and most of the time we are engaged in more than one experience at a time.

Difficulties often occur when we get stuck identifying with one… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on January 6, 2010 at 6:09pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Floyd and the Miracle


Some years ago enroute to Mt. Lassen on a horse camping trip with friends, our old truck began to lose power on the steeper sections of the road. The truck, known as Floyd, was soon struggling to keep speed even on the level surfaces and we had no choice but to pull over in a fairly large rest area. Despite our best attempts under the hood, we could not get Floyd to move at other than a snail's pace; no way he could pull the horse trailer to our mountain… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on December 16, 2009 at 3:00pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Forgiving Resentments

One of my clients died this year, after a long illness as they say. During our time of work together we frequently had conversations about forgiveness. She had carried strong resentments towards a particular family member and believed that she was entitled to her resentments because this person had behaved badly many times. What she had trouble understanding was that she was compounding the injury to herself by carrying anger and hatred towards him. He wasn't suffering from it; she was. And… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on December 9, 2009 at 6:26pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Feed Your Soul

"We've all heard about an illness in Central Africa called sleeping sickness. What we should know is that a similar disease exists that attacks the soul. It's very dangerous because the early stages often go unnoticed. At the first sign of indifference or lack of enthusiasm take note! The only preventive against this disease is the realization that the soul suffers, suffers greatly, when we force it to live superficially. The soul loves all things beautiful and deep." Paul Coelho, The Winner… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on December 2, 2009 at 3:58pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Thanksgiving

I love the name of tomorrow's holiday. The giving of thanks, to be grateful, to appreciate ... these have become powerful tools of transformation in my life. On their namesake day, I invite you to take some time to focus on what you can be grateful for in your life. Whether you do a list on paper or in your head, if you do it, it will make your day better. According to an article sent to me by a friend this morning, you will feel happier: "Research suggests that becoming more grateful could… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on November 25, 2009 at 5:37pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Enjoying the Holidays

The holiday season at the end of the year has the potential to be a stressful time. Days are short with less light, expectations run rampant, and family of origin issues are stirred up. Most holidays are about rituals and many of us have decades of traditional imprints that are not pleasant. Since holidays were generally not fun in my childhood, as an adult I have chosen to re-organize how I celebrate this time of year. And celebration is a key word.

Developing a personal mission… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on November 18, 2009 at 3:43pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Puppy Paws on the Blanket

One day some years ago I was at Muir Beach in northern California with my dog Toby. Toby was a really great dog, but he had a nasty habit of rolling in things that smelled bad. Well, on this day he found a ripe stinky dead fish and had a very vigorous back roll on it. And then, being delighted with the experience, he wanted to share the joy and snuggle up next to me while I was reading on my blanket. I did not like the idea of being cozy with a fetid dog, so I spread out a towel for him… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on November 11, 2009 at 5:16pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Emotional Intelligence

People tend to think of their cognitive brain as the source of their intelligence. Our society has devised highly structured IQ tests to measure "intelligence" and our educational systems focus pretty much on left brain thinking. Perhaps emphasis is on the superiority of logical thought because it can be manipulated more easily than emotional intuition. Or maybe the reason most people believe that logic is more important than emotion is that we don't understand the connection between the… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on October 28, 2009 at 12:17pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: More on Stories

I recently wrote about the way our tenacious holding onto a belief or story about ourselves determines how we create our reality. My perspective on this was coming from my observations as a therapist and a coach, and I was delighted to come upon some additional insight in Temple Grandin's book, Animals in Translation. She wrote, "Normal people have an interpreter in their left brain that takes all the random, contradictory details of whatever they are doing or remembering at the moment… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on October 21, 2009 at 4:56pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Emotional Management

One of the more interesting experiences I have had involved witnessing a man literally bounce off walls. I was working in an inpatient addiction rehabilitation program and had the task of informing a client that his father had just died. We were alone in my office when I told him the sad news and he stood up from his chair and ran into a wall, bounced off, did it again with another wall, and again, and again, and again. I remember noting with surprise that the phrase "bouncing off the walls"… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on October 14, 2009 at 2:51pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Successful Thinking

Someone recently wrote me about the impact of "failed situations" on their life. I invited a shift in perspective suggesting that there are no failures, only lessons. I truly believe that all of our experiences contribute to our education and growth, especially the ones that don't turn out the way we want as they offer the biggest opportunities to evolve, to know ourselves, and to learn something new. "There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error; experimentation.… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on October 7, 2009 at 12:00pm — 3 Comments

Weekly TIdbit: Old Stories

Sometimes we become so attached to the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves that they obstruct our growth and happiness. In the 1960's, the comedy team known as the Smothers Brothers used to do a running joke about "Mom always liked you best". It was funny because we could see how it defined their relationship, and we could laugh at this silly attachment to a belief with a hint of recognition that we had similar patterns, but without having to identify our own ego based… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on September 30, 2009 at 1:30pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Accepting What Is

Someone asked me recently about acceptance, specifically about how to accept things that you really don't like or don't want to be happening. Accepting what we deem unacceptable is one of the big challenges in this earthly life. Things happen that we don't want to be part of our reality. People die, they leave us, things break, the world changes. Our subconscious mind tends to cling to what is familiar and resists change; and in that resistance, we create suffering.

Most of us strive… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on September 23, 2009 at 2:14pm — 1 Comment

Weekly Tidbit: Pastures in the Sun

"Pastures in the sun"...... For some reason that phrase conjures up deep feelings of peace and contentment for me. I see horses grazing in a field, trees moving in a gentle breeze, and I can faintly hear the sound of running water.....and my whole body just sighs a big "ah". Mind and body together jettison any tension or anxiety and move to a state of deep, peaceful well being.

I have read that it is in moments of deep relaxation that our bodies do the best quality repair and… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on September 16, 2009 at 5:45pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Gratitude

I'm having a grateful day. A grateful day is when you appreciate what you have, even if it is less than you had yesterday. I had that lesson brought home to me this week when my washing machine expired and I called about an ad in the paper for one for sale. The woman I spoke to said yes, she had a machine for sale, but it was not available for a week and a half and everybody "wanted it today". So we both laughed and got to talking and she told me her story. She is still using her washing… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on September 9, 2009 at 5:36pm — No Comments

Weekly Tidbit: Forgiveness

The hardest practice of forgiveness is the one we do with ourselves. I tell myself that I should have known, I should have seen it, I should have done better. But I didn't. Decisions I made in some situations were not the best ones. Sheldon Kopp wrote "All decisions are based on insufficient data". Meaning that we can only choose based on what we know at the moment, that at any time new information can come along that will give new perspective to our decision. And so we just do the best we can… Continue

Added by Charly Hill on September 2, 2009 at 3:22pm — No Comments


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