Is this it?

[cindy paulos]

If I were to throw myself down on the path

Amidst all the fallen warriors of the Light here on the way

Would my spirit  be glad to finally be free

With the light of my soul to act as a fuse

to burn away all the illusions I fed myself to bear

to live my life here without you.

 

And if under the weight of the cross I were to fall

Would you come and comfort me

And give me the sustenance and strength I need

to make it the rest of the way to a form of Calgary you knew

 

If I were to offer up a prayer that might help you

Could any words I might find be enough to really be true

Have I been given enough clues to finally know what to do

Just to throw a net out to the universe and catch some part of it to give to you

 

When I promised to serve the plan so long ago

With so many others begging to do their part

How Could I have possibly known

That all of this time wasn’t enough to even make a start.

 

And all the love you gave to me

I offered up to others so they might have a chance to see

Yet all the time I was seeking to convince myself

It was what I supposed to do.

 

And there are so many pilgrims here in your waiting room

And each has not fulfilled their destiny

And each speaks with reverence your blessed name

So we might look into their hearts and see what we can see

 

And still they are just a part of you

And it’s you that I really need

So I throw myself down at the gates of eternity

Could that be all I need to find the grace to be with you

 

My life, my prayer, all that time I spent

In my desperate hope to find some way

  for your love to be with me and

ask, to beg and finally set me free.