Croneness = Crone finesse (A survey)

[Jeanne]

I don't know what wild hair moved me to start a group called Crone to the Bone
...but that's how I'd been feeling.
...it was like my inner radical punk, vegan grandmother came out.
I wanted to be part of a group with an in-your-face, primitive name... not a neatly starched apron-wearing, apple pie baking crone name. (actually, lets keep the apple pie);

...I wanted to talk to other women of maturity who were knee-deep in real life
...family, career, relationships, businesses, property, stress... stuff
...who'd rather stay home and talk via their computer. Women different than many we see everyday.
...yet, one and the same.
...so much smarts, humor, wisdom and grace... expressed in gently chosen words, reassuring phrases and supportive, smart-ass expressions of truth
...and amazing stories of determined existence and bouncing back.

Cyber-grandmas...

I have a few questions about crones...
Please, tell me what you really think... and it will inform my questions...
and who knows, maybe even be an answer?

Answer any or all questions that move you to express.
If you want to speak anonymously, please send me an email.
I understand that cronehood, aging and its necessary adjustments are sensitive subjects...

I am interested in hearing from you.


1.What image does the word ‘crone’ conjure up in your mind?

2.What moved you to join an online crone group? (if you did...)

3.What possibilities do you see for global online crone communities – a concept unheard of until only a few years ago?

4.Describe your personal experience with:

a.the comedy of crone,

b.the tragedy of crone.

[Ron Alexander]

Ron Alexander said:

Someone here, asked me if a man could be a crone? - "an intuitive older woman"? I replied that "no, even though I think we all have everything inside us - yin and yang, anima and animus, male and female - that I have too much of a grumpy old man in me now. Thank goodness, I have lost most of the horny womanizing young man!

When one said that they saw some crone in me, I replied that I was very honored, that meant to me that they saw some unconditional love in me." Thank you, Annie, though the question was by another wonderful woman.
no mistake, ron

Here is the answer(question) back from the questioner: "Yes, it must be nice not to have a body part cloud your thinking. :))" YES! That 'body part" was the part that got me into a bad marriage - trophy wife who ripped me off big time.

[Jeanne]

The ego is not a body part...



Here is the answer(question) back from the questioner: "Yes, it must be nice not to have a body part cloud your thinking. :))" YES! That 'body part" was the part that got me into a bad marriage - trophy wife who ripped me off big time.

[Jeanne]

With the permission of the respondent, Clarita, I am pasting this from another site:

1. crone image:
It conjures up this image: A woman who is a mystery to most people because she has aged with grace and uses herself wisely. A down to earth grandma with a wild hair that seems to have sprung out of a fountain of youth. Published, as you said, the song in her own heart by learning to stay in lifes process.

2. I had no idea 'crone' even existed until my best friend informed me of her existence. I had my own thoughts on 'this elder which closely connected. My friend's sharing is what moved me to join.

3. I think the possibilities are endless because of the dynamics. To put it simply I would describe it a marriage of wisdom and creativity at its best. A ripened fruit which is unique to each woman.

4. a: My experience with comedy crone: The closest I can come to this is the true ability to be honest. To laugh at oneself.
b: tragedy crone........hmmmm this reminds me of an experience I had when I was about 12 or 13.
I spent one summer with a married couple who were friends of my parents. They lived out in the country. Staying in the same house with them was an older son, the wifes sister, and their two mothers. Both mothers the same age.
Those mothers became for me the crones of tragedy and comedy.
I became very attracted to the mother of the husband who spent most of her time alone in her room. She used a walker to come to dinner and struggled to get there. She had a gentle smile and a magic sparkle in her eyes. She didn't mind doing things herself.
The other mother ran up and down stairs and went out a lot with her daughters.
I forgot their names but it doesn't matter. I will refer to them as running grandma and sitting grandma.
I grew to love sitting grandma with the walker who didn't come out much. She didn't seem to mind it one bit. She was content with something inside herself. Her hair was completely white and she was a tad overweight. Lets say she looked like a real old fashion grandmother. The kind with the big dress in pastel designs. Nothing bothered her. She loved everyone. I became curious about her good nature. She welcomed my visits to her room . She shared many beautiful books and dreams with me. I spent hours in her presence I can still remember holding the books and the magic in her eyes. The big window with colored curtains. Her pink lips and sweet smile. Never a bad word to say about anyone. Never a complaint. It was a little hard for her to see but youd never know by the brightness of her eyes and the sharpness of her mind!
Running grandma I got to know from a distance. She complained constantly even though she had constant company and fast running legs. She had great vision because she never fell down and she ran a lot! I felt she had a lot to smile about and yet I never saw her smile. Her long grey thick hair was made into two braid that came almost to her waist. She had strong legs to run, lots of energy, a body in good shape and not overweight, lots of places to go, children who kept her company, a beautiful family to have dinner with every night, peasant conversation, and nothing pleased her. She never smiled and her eyes looked angry. There was always a reason to be miserable. Nothing was ever right. People were always doing things wrong. This was normal in this particular household. No one seem to notice but me!!!
This is the comedy and tragedy of crones as I experienced it long ago.

[Jeanne]

With the permission from the respondent, Sherry, I am pasting this from another site:

Being a crone is the ability to finally connect with myself as a woman. I have chosen crone because in the wiccan religion the crone is the wise old woman. In our patariarch society older and old people are to be thrown away. Crone has the abilities to love unconditionally. Everybody in a crones societies have something to bring to the table. It is to bless the goddess first and later just to love woman. To learn self love not the self hate that society has placed over our heads. A woman should be validated as being a woman not validated as being a woman from a mans point of view. The sexual enslavement of sexual youth is no longer a problem. Getting older a woman can walk into stores finally free of learing eyes from men. Not always but in my youth i was always being hit on by a male or looked up and down at...I was taught in youth all the proper ways to treat a male. I found alot of it just validated a males false ego.
As a crone I expect respect and i will also give respect. I guess being a crone is seeing the wasted opprtunities I had as a young attractive female. The disrespect that man has over woman. The education I could have had...my curiousity never satisfied. Being disrespected because I am a woman and being disrespected because i am getting older.

Like I said the positive is finally being left alone by man. I can self study without negative feedbacks by males. I am no longer letting a male dominated world rule my intuitions. i am now allowed to wonder into the mystical worlds. I fear less the unknown..... I want to know. Just because everybody is doing it doesn't mean it is right for me. The only individual i have to prove anything to is to myself and my maker. Knowing the human journey will be coming to an end shortly and trying to crammm all that bs i learned in youth and unlearn it in my crone-hood....xxo

[Jeanne]

Thank-you Sherry, for your frank reply. It is your voice and spirit that affirms other crones. I think using the word - crone, empowers it... stimulates conversations about feminine aging, grandmothers and witches - after covering those subjects, older women find the crone within themselves. Owning the crone is liberating for older women. I have learned so much from others since using the crone word... and I have observed my long time friends go from zero croneness, to croneness finesse... just by becoming aware of the process that crone is.

Jeanne said:

With the permission from the respondent, Sherry, I am pasting this from another site:

Being a crone is the ability to finally connect with myself as a woman. I have chosen crone because in the wiccan religion the crone is the wise old woman. In our patariarch society older and old people are to be thrown away. Crone has the abilities to love unconditionally. Everybody in a crones societies have something to bring to the table. It is to bless the goddess first and later just to love woman. To learn self love not the self hate that society has placed over our heads. A woman should be validated as being a woman not validated as being a woman from a mans point of view. The sexual enslavement of sexual youth is no longer a problem. Getting older a woman can walk into stores finally free of learing eyes from men. Not always but in my youth i was always being hit on by a male or looked up and down at...I was taught in youth all the proper ways to treat a male. I found alot of it just validated a males false ego.
As a crone I expect respect and i will also give respect. I guess being a crone is seeing the wasted opprtunities I had as a young attractive female. The disrespect that man has over woman. The education I could have had...my curiousity never satisfied. Being disrespected because I am a woman and being disrespected because i am getting older.

Like I said the positive is finally being left alone by man. I can self study without negative feedbacks by males. I am no longer letting a male dominated world rule my intuitions. i am now allowed to wonder into the mystical worlds. I fear less the unknown..... I want to know. Just because everybody is doing it doesn't mean it is right for me. The only individual i have to prove anything to is to myself and my maker. Knowing the human journey will be coming to an end shortly and trying to crammm all that bs i learned in youth and unlearn it in my crone-hood....xxo

[Jeanne]

Funny thing... wild hair seems to be a common theme amongst crone images. I can vouch for that... my hair was unruly for a few years... had a mind of its own. I call them the corkscrew years of my '50's.

Thank-you Clarita, for your insightful comments... I especially love the way you personified the comedy and tragedy of crone. Those two grandmothers present a remarkable contrast.

Jeanne said:

With the permission of the respondent, Clarita, I am pasting this from another site:

1. crone image:
It conjures up this image: A woman who is a mystery to most people because she has aged with grace and uses herself wisely. A down to earth grandma with a wild hair that seems to have sprung out of a fountain of youth. Published, as you said, the song in her own heart by learning to stay in lifes process.

2. I had no idea 'crone' even existed until my best friend informed me of her existence. I had my own thoughts on 'this elder which closely connected. My friend's sharing is what moved me to join.

3. I think the possibilities are endless because of the dynamics. To put it simply I would describe it a marriage of wisdom and creativity at its best. A ripened fruit which is unique to each woman.

4. a: My experience with comedy crone: The closest I can come to this is the true ability to be honest. To laugh at oneself.
b: tragedy crone........hmmmm this reminds me of an experience I had when I was about 12 or 13.
I spent one summer with a married couple who were friends of my parents. They lived out in the country. Staying in the same house with them was an older son, the wifes sister, and their two mothers. Both mothers the same age.
Those mothers became for me the crones of tragedy and comedy.
I became very attracted to the mother of the husband who spent most of her time alone in her room. She used a walker to come to dinner and struggled to get there. She had a gentle smile and a magic sparkle in her eyes. She didn't mind doing things herself.
The other mother ran up and down stairs and went out a lot with her daughters.
I forgot their names but it doesn't matter. I will refer to them as running grandma and sitting grandma.
I grew to love sitting grandma with the walker who didn't come out much. She didn't seem to mind it one bit. She was content with something inside herself. Her hair was completely white and she was a tad overweight. Lets say she looked like a real old fashion grandmother. The kind with the big dress in pastel designs. Nothing bothered her. She loved everyone. I became curious about her good nature. She welcomed my visits to her room . She shared many beautiful books and dreams with me. I spent hours in her presence I can still remember holding the books and the magic in her eyes. The big window with colored curtains. Her pink lips and sweet smile. Never a bad word to say about anyone. Never a complaint. It was a little hard for her to see but youd never know by the brightness of her eyes and the sharpness of her mind!
Running grandma I got to know from a distance. She complained constantly even though she had constant company and fast running legs. She had great vision because she never fell down and she ran a lot! I felt she had a lot to smile about and yet I never saw her smile. Her long grey thick hair was made into two braid that came almost to her waist. She had strong legs to run, lots of energy, a body in good shape and not overweight, lots of places to go, children who kept her company, a beautiful family to have dinner with every night, peasant conversation, and nothing pleased her. She never smiled and her eyes looked angry. There was always a reason to be miserable. Nothing was ever right. People were always doing things wrong. This was normal in this particular household. No one seem to notice but me!!!
This is the comedy and tragedy of crones as I experienced it long ago.

[Ron Alexander]

Jeanne said:

The ego is not a body part...



Here is the answer(question) back from the questioner: "Yes, it must be nice not to have a body part cloud your thinking. :))" YES! That 'body part" was the part that got me into a bad marriage - trophy wife who ripped me off big time.

Believe me they go hand in hand with most men!

[Jeanne]

LOL

Believe me they go hand in hand with most men!

[Erin Michelle]

crone. wise woman, sage. shaman. healer. keeper of secrets. giver of secrets. unconditional love. grandmother. great grandmother. aunts. best friend. loving mother. all. all sisters rejoice! thank you jeanne.
love, peace (erin)

[Ymani Simmons]

Ah, to witness the continued blossoming of a woman is a true gift for the spirit. In these challenging days we are comforted by the nurturing aspects of well-seasoned, wise women who are fully present and ‘doing their work’.

At one time releasing our ‘power’ as a flow of life, the wisdom and potential are now held within. We have the auspicious opportunity to truly make the difference we are capable of making. As we take our steps on this combined journey of life, setting a loving, compassionate and peaceful example becomes our task.

All women hold the ability for wisdom. Some are listening, others are still sweeping away the cobwebs that will reveal their radiant light and allow it to become a beacon of hope for all their relations. Others are not yet aware of the gifts of beauty and grace that await their arrival.

Some cultures have recognized and utilized the gifts that women bring. Part of my ancestry, the native people of North America, held the women in high regard. We were honored as the Bringers of Life, seen as the human representation of Mother Earth and our value and worth were respected.

I believe that age has nothing and everything to do with the crone. We witness wisdom in the little ones who arrive now but life experience is like a beautiful cloak that surrounds said wisdom and enhances its presentation.

We are all crones-in-training. Life continues to provide numerous opportunities for personal healing and growth and through this involvement we emerge as women of beauty, honor, grace, compassion, balance and hope. For thousands of years we have lived under the dominance of the masculine philosophy. It is time for the balance of the feminine to rebirth within us all. Peace is not something to strive for, it is something to live.

I join this circle with enormous gratitude for the illumination that is constantly provided on my path. Thank you all for showing up, paying attention and doing your work! All my relations.......

[AkashicWreckage]

Ron said~~~"Thank goodness, I have lost most of the horny womanizing young man!"

Where was the last place you saw him?

I can't believe how men can just up and lose them whatshammacallit!

Blessings,
AW

[AkashicWreckage]

Marian~~I'm going to try very hard to write your name right, and consistently right! "As young women we have to have babies - our own or other people's; we have to fix, clean, be there for consolation; give of ourselves to others. But as time allows, we begin to see an opening where we can just BE. And in being our (authentic) self, there comes a magic, a flow, an ability to allow creation to happen. I may not be putting this in just the right way, but there is a feeling to this new being with oneself that feels absolutely in right timing."

You have described so well, that phase in life, when we begin to feel the impact of having so many pieces of ourselves that are broken off from our souls. We give those pieces to others, to so many others~~~and often with love being the very fiber of the bits and pieces---of our souls.

I am in awe of how I was---within the masks, for surely, whoever that was, it was me~~~
Had to be made of something that persevered.
And, I realized that I could gift those pieces back to myself and begin to know that I could finally be me.

Thank you so much, Marian, for reaffirming that for me.
With much love,
AW