Architects of a New Dawn

We’d like to show the side of the world you don’t normally see on television.

Judging others is a way of hiding from our flaws and only serves to disconnect us from others. Temporarily it might make us feel as if we are better than the person we are judging, but letting this behavior become a habit sets us up for failure. People may begin to lose trust, wondering if we are judging them behind their back, or friends may just want to avoid the negative vibes. Constantly judging others, we may begin to feel shame and even hatred towards ourselves.

Unfortunately, as humans, we have a habit of judging those closest to us most harshly. When we do this we are seeing the world the way we want, not the way it is. Lashing out is often a way to avoid feeling the pain of our powerlessness. Yet learning to be less critical and see things as they are opens us up for more compassion with others and for ourselves.

To find peace and quell the judging monster we must do inner work. It takes determination to look at oneself more objectively and with clarity. It can be helpful to go deep inside to find the root of our painful experiences and heal them. Without this inner work the pain and judging will continue to occur. The next time you catch yourself judging someone, stop and ask yourself a few questions to help get to the root of why you are judging. "What about this situation touches a nerve?" "What aspects of myself does this person bring forth?" "Is there a pattern between this situation/person and other times of judgment?"

Another way to work on putting an end to judgmental ways is to cultivate empathy. We can work on putting ourselves in another's shoes. As we work on this, we must be careful not to judge ourselves when we catch ourselves judging others. We need to learn to be gentle with ourselves also. Simply acknowledge that you were judging and make a promise to work on not judging in the future. If this is a behavior pattern you've had for most of your life it will not disappear over night. Like any new skill, retraining your thoughts takes time and persistence. Beating yourself up over being judgmental defeats the purpose of the work you are doing. Consistently reaffirm your desire to end your judgmental thoughts and practice compassion with yourself and others. Do this and you will develop more nourishing thoughts and eventually a happier, more empowered you.

"At the heart of judging other people is a feeling of being unworthy." ~ Gary Zukav

Andrea Wright Anderson
Source: Soaring Higher - March 2008

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Replies to This Discussion

Thank you, Jeanne, well put. Perhaps as we learn to accept and love ourselves as we are, we can spread this vibration a la The Hundredth Monkey. I have had good progress with the Energy Psychologies (EFT & TAT), with myself and with clients, to open blockages that prevent health and happiness. There are so many opportunities for our growth now, what a blessing. Namaste. Charly
Hello Charly,

Synchronicity was at work this morning... I was mulling over a vegetarian discussion thread where about 80% of the respondents were taking a very critical and judgemental stand against PETA and its founder, Ingrid Newkirk. I thought... even though we don't all agree on campaighn strategies, aren't we all on the same side here? And isn't this unnecessary criticism harmful to the cause? (it wasn't constructive... but downright nasty.)

So later, after emailing a naturopath about an upcoming meditation retreat I'm attending with her... I checked out her website where i found this article linked.
Its as if the universe knew I needed to read it. So I shared it...

The naturopath also had links to EFT... more synchronicities.

So true what you say about the many opportunities for growth.

Metta,
Jeanne

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