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Encouragement to practice meditation daily

Thank you all for allowing me to join this group. I would like to share some of what meditation has done for me. I have been a Buddhist practitioner for many years. Without meditation I literally would not be alive. I was a single father to 3 wonderful children; Kaleigha, Samantha and Mikey. Unfortunately Kaleigha and Mikey were born with Cystic Fibrosis (an auto-recessive genetic disease that there is currently no cure for and is fatal). Samantha fortunately is free of the disease. Mikey also contracted bacterial meningitis when he was 3 months old and this left him completely deaf. I did everything I could do for them and my life revolved around the children of course. I even learned respiratory therapy and sign language. In August of 2006 Mikey got out of my aunts back door and drowned in the lake she lived on. I had to pull him from the water and did CPR but he was gone at the age of 7 years old. This all only took several minutes as I was helping my elderly aunt with her computer and my elderly uncle was supposed to have watched him but there really is no one to blame as the causes and conditions came together for this terrible tragedy to have happened.
This left me completely devastated as any parent could imagine. Then one year later Kaleigha died at the age of 14 years. She was an amazingly beautiful and fiercely intelligent young girl and as with Mikey, it was a great honer to have been there father.
Without my daily meditation practice, faith and the teachings I learned over the years, I would have never have survived so much suffering!
I tell my story here as an encouragement for everyone to do a daily meditation practice.~Namaste'~ Bill (AKA Compassionate Rejuvenation of the Heart)

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Silja Saareoks-Kaldre on October 16, 2009 at 6:06am

Thank you for your courage to share it with us all. You also pointed out the importance to practice every day and it really can literally change the life.

Permalink Reply by William L. Kimmel Jr. on October 16, 2009 at 5:20pm

Yes Joan it is very hard. Somehow we are here and we all suffer in many forms, I believe that there are many random causes and conditions that cause this suffering but I am learning how to stop that "second arrow" and third and so on, that causes our minds to make the suffering to be greater. It has been a very hard journey for me and I understand grief more then anyone would ever dare to. Somewhere I am having to let go of this suffering and just move on and try to manage it. Meditation and the dharma have enabled me to do this somehow and this is why I post my story. That perhaps there will be a few that sit a little more and find there way.~ Namaste'

Permalink Reply by drmike on October 18, 2009 at 9:57am

Thank you very much Bill. I went on a silent meditation this past summer for 10 days and found it to be a great revelation. I am interested in serving on another course, and have been encouraged by friends to do it. As a father, my heart goes out to you and I know the pain of losing what seems to be an entire world. The pain of losing my mom, when I was 11.5 years old, is part of my human suffering condition, and I just can relate to so much you have to say. Although I meditate a lot, I don't have the discipline for sitting in the formal manner as instructed. I am hoping for changes in my environment to make this more feasible, but clearly I have found benefit in trying to get to the root problem of the misery and not to expand on it. Thanks again for the example.

Best, Mike

Permalink Reply by Jeanne on October 18, 2009 at 10:10am

You and Samantha have lived through much sorrow together. She is fortunate to have a father who is taking the high road through these difficult times.
I'm sure I don't need to tell you that Kaleigha and Mikey were a gift to you, though like most parents - we want our children to outlive us.
We only ever have the moment and what and who is in it with us. After the loss of my first son, I realized that my second son, was in fact the one whose suffering would continue and whose scars from our loss would go the deepest. Though he is an adult with his own children now, I believe he still carries within himself an unhealed wound... which I cannot heal for him. I can love and assist, but I cannot remove it or walk the healing walk for him.
My healing prayers are with you and Samantha in your daily walk.

Permalink Reply by William L. Kimmel Jr. on October 23, 2009 at 2:38pm

Thank you Jeanne, Samantha lives with my ex now and comes every 2 weeks and spends the summer. I am going to be teaching English to the Burmese refugees here and helping them build their Buddhist temple. Things are getting much better everyday because of practice. I am very happy and am trying to not allow myself to become attached to this also, if you know what I mean. Balance in the moment! This is the middle way.

Jeanne said:

You and Samantha have lived through much sorrow together. She is fortunate to have a father who is taking the high road through these difficult times.
I'm sure I don't need to tell you that Kaleigha and Mikey were a gift to you, though like most parents - we want our children to outlive us.
We only ever have the moment and what and who is in it with us. After the loss of my first son, I realized that my second son, was in fact the one whose suffering would continue and whose scars from our loss would go the deepest. Though he is an adult with his own children now, I believe he still carries within himself an unhealed wound... which I cannot heal for him. I can love and assist, but I cannot remove it or walk the healing walk for him.
My healing prayers are with you and Samantha in your daily walk.

Permalink Reply by William L. Kimmel Jr. on January 1, 2010 at 5:29am

Things have changed for me (Life is Change)....Samantha lives with me now and is doing very well. I just got her a beautiful golden retriever puppy for Christmas. She named him "Lucky". He is sooo sweet! I am attending collage to earn my degree in psychology and am taking meditation into the health care industries here in Fort Wayne, Indiana. I want to come from a secular position with it so the doctors and hospitals will be more willing to send people to me. Grief counseling will be one of my specialties, as well as children with ADD/ADHD. We are very happy and this new year looks like it will be full of blessings for us all.~Happy New Year to all and May your new year be filled with abundance, love and light.
here is the link to my new Bussiness: http://bluelotus.vpweb.com/default.html
Namaste'~b

Permalink Reply by drmike on January 2, 2010 at 11:27pm

Congrats on getting to spend more time with your daughter. Congratulations and good luck on the new business.

Best, Mike

Permalink Reply by William L. Kimmel Jr. on January 3, 2010 at 5:36am

Thank Yoy DrMike, Happy and Blessed new yoer from our familiy to you and yours. Namaste'~b