We’d like to show the side of the world you don’t normally see on television.

Self love or narcissism?

I always feel a little twinge of guilt when I hear about "self love". How do we distinguish between self love or "selfish" love? Is being an unconditional lover mean being unconditional loving to one's self also? Back in the older days of self help workshops, we were taught to look in the mirror and tell ourselves how much we loved us - that image love was narcissistic to me - you? ron

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Ron Alexander on October 27, 2009 at 3:58pm

Thought of the Day by Story Waters, 10/26/09

Love is freedom. It is the foundation upon which you create. Unconditional love can only birth through loving your Self for you cannot love anyone more than you unconditionally love yourself. All love you give to others that you do not give to yourself is conditional love as it represents a separation rather than unification between you. Loving without condition connects the fabric of reality.

Permalink Reply by Ron Alexander on October 28, 2009 at 6:01am

hi ron,
thanks for your alert that you'll copy the "thought of the day by Story Waters" - i'm happy you did and also glad you kept the mention of the author of this great snippet - it's so true in my experience and yet so hard to come by -

one person had asked Story, why she could feel unconditional love for her son and not for herself and Story answered the following:

Story Waters:
Perhaps he is a mirror of what is possible, a mirror of what can birth from within you, so your love for him is a mirror of your potential to directly love your Self. Children are incredible mirrors of the love that has always been within you, waiting to be birthed. May you discover the love for your children in the mirror of your Self. xxx

i found that to explain beautifully why we sometimes can't give ourselves that unconditional love yet, but do feel it for our loved ones (mainly our children i think).

the never ending topic love - and when are we comprehending, integrating and living that we ARE love already ?....
claudia

Permalink Reply by A People's Walk on February 9, 2011 at 8:10pm

The difference between Self love and Selfish love is the agenda. Self love seeks nothing and gives acceptance. Selfish love is selfish for what reason. What is it that it desires that it believes it does not already have. Self love is the love I have for the existence that I am. Self love is the acceptance of my Isness. This acceptance implies an acceptance for what I have not accepted.

What is there to be selfish about. All THAT IS does not have a lace for anything. The notion of selfishness is shunned but that I believe is based on the context. love of self is selfish. So there is a place where selfishness is appropriate with boundaries that do not extend into the space of another.

Permalink Reply by Ron Alexander on March 13, 2011 at 12:34pm

Brilliant answer, I cannot add to your wisdom, I am very grateful!

A People's Walk said:

The difference between Self love and Selfish love is the agenda. Self love seeks nothing and gives acceptance. Selfish love is selfish for what reason. What is it that it desires that it believes it does not already have. Self love is the love I have for the existence that I am. Self love is the acceptance of my Isness. This acceptance implies an acceptance for what I have not accepted.

What is there to be selfish about. All THAT IS does not have a lace for anything. The notion of selfishness is shunned but that I believe is based on the context. love of self is selfish. So there is a place where selfishness is appropriate with boundaries that do not extend into the space of another.