Do you ever feel inauthentic, like you wear a mask over what you believe you know, or fear, about who you really are? The trinity can help you follow the path to your authentic-self destination.
I read Flip the S.W.I.T.C.H. (How to Turn On and Turn Up Your Mindset) by PJ McClure, The Mindset Maven, which he gives away on his website. I don’t want to spoil your experience of reading PJ’s brilliant book by recounting his content, nor is this a review. But, he did get me thinking about… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on September 16, 2011 at 1:01pm —
Could a lesson from Super Nanny apply to you and your personal and professional life? If you feel stressed and overwhelmed… yeah.
The parents Super Nanny Jo Frost went to help were well-meaning—they wanted to give their children the best head start in life. Unfortunately, this meant not only school and homework hours for each child, but LOTS of additional activities to help them be well rounded individuals, as well.
Super Nanny pointed out two things:
1. Making their… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on September 9, 2011 at 1:07pm —
A wise strategy is to pay yourself… first. But, are you aware there may be more than one way to do this?
You’ve heard that it makes a difference if you pay yourself first—not just in an increase in the amount in your checking or savings account but also in how you affirm that you value yourself, which gets conveyed to others through your energy.
You’ve also heard that, if oxygen masks are needed in flight, put yours on first because you’re no help to anyone if you’re… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on September 2, 2011 at 12:20pm —
Self-sabotage is not about lack of willpower; so, you can stop beating yourself up about that one. What it is about may surprise you… and empower you.
Self-sabotage happens when you confront the need to move out of your comfort zone to improve your life experience or make a dream or goal happen. This is one reason willpower doesn’t work.
A few words about willpower…
Have you noticed how well trying to force willpower to work and last… works and lasts? It… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on August 29, 2011 at 10:08am —
There’s one particular thing that often stands in the way of any desired change; and, its partner has near-equal influence. Do you know what these are?
Consideration about the ignition switch for real change started with an email from an associate saying he was in a state of flux and it didn’t feel good. I emailed to check on him a week later and he responded that he’d made a decision to focus on one specific project he really wanted to engage, rather than all the opportunities being… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on August 19, 2011 at 1:35pm —
How ready and able we are to beat up on ourselves! “I will not should on myself today” would benefit many as a new mantra.
A coaching client, who is a solo business person, provided lessons for many by sharing “should” challenges a number of people contend with in their personal, as well as professional lives. Three big “shoulds” showed up for her. You’ve probably experienced at least one of them, in one form or another.
Should 1 convinced her to sit at her computer all… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on August 12, 2011 at 12:11pm —
Overwhelm blocks productivity, creativity, enjoyment… and even income! You can begin to improve this starting today.
In my article, “What Does Feeling Overwhelmed Really Mean?”, I mentioned I’d created a mind map. Since then, I revisited my mind map and removed a few things listed there. They’re terrific ideas, but they don’t really “crank my tractor.” This is something you might keep in mind, too.
I’m something of a list addict—okay, maybe list maniac is more like it.… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on August 5, 2011 at 9:45am —
There are two types of overwhelm: the type that’s triggered by external events and the type you self-impose. Both can be managed with the same technique.
“I’m overwhelmed,” was my client’s first comment. You’ve been in that state of mind, and so have I. And, that’s what’s important to understand—overwhelm is a state of mind, not an actual event.
Let’s look at a parallel situation. Say you’re hosting a holiday dinner, maybe for the first time, maybe not. Very few people,… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on July 29, 2011 at 11:28am —
When you have a goal or dream in mind, do you ask yourself where the best place to start is? The answer is in the question: Where you’re going.
You’ve seen floor plan maps in public places like large malls, stores, or office buildings that let you see where shops, offices, or sections are located. Here’s what’s interesting about this: you might think the first thing you do is find the You Are Here X then look up where you want to go. But the first thing you do is THINK about WHERE… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on July 22, 2011 at 8:18am —
We all experience having a short fuse at times, though some seem to have this more often. What’s really going on; and can two simple methods make a difference?
Thoughts that motivated my recent article, “Do You Experience Mixed Feelings About Being Patient and Tolerant?” didn’t stop when I typed the last word. I’d likened getting to the end of your patience or tolerance to a glass filling with liquid until it spills over. It’s the same with losing—or loosing—your… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on July 16, 2011 at 10:48am —
Patience and tolerance are behaviors and states of mind to practice, right? How well do you do with them?
Questions about Patience and Tolerance came to me after I spent extended time with someone who couldn’t seem to talk about anything that wasn’t unpleasant. All of us need a dose of healthy venting at times; but what I mean here is non-stop negative chatter about anything and everything, not conversation about a specific matter that genuinely needs attention or compassion. If such… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on July 11, 2011 at 8:37am —
Do you wake every day, move through your day, and go to bed with problems on your mind? Maybe you’d like to do something about that right now.
What can you do that’s quick? Reframe the problem or your perceptions about it to make a difference, even if just a small shift at first.
I listened to an interview with Marcia Wieder and she said something like, “Life is not meant to be just about addressing problems.” How often you might feel that your days are all about problems!… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on July 1, 2011 at 11:06am —
Do you ever feel trying to be positive is more like one step forward and two or more steps back? There is a good reason you feel this way.
You may believe you’re obligated to be positive 24/7; and that if you were, everything about your life you don’t like would shift to what you want. And, you’ve likely discovered that “Fake it till you make it” doesn’t work. It may even make you feel worse.
TRYING to be positive causes you to dwell on this as something you SHOULD be when… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on June 24, 2011 at 1:40pm —
Are you a member of the Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth Club? What you’re about to read may inspire you to cancel your membership.
One of the times you feel low self-esteem and self-worth is when you’re around someone you believe, according to your perception, has more going for them than you have, whatever that is… money, success, a relationship, more stuff, etc. I say “perception” because no one has a perfect life or does everything perfectly all the time. But, people with… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on June 18, 2011 at 9:08am —
Another word for survival mode is stress. When stressed, we tend to become something we don’t really want to be: self-absorbed. There is a way out.
An associate brought me up to date on her project. I offered a particular level of assistance. Here’s what she wrote back: “You’re so sweet to even care. In these times it almost feels like no one cares; everyone is so self-absorbed.” She did add that she might have been feeling sorry for herself at the moment. But, her comments reflect… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on June 10, 2011 at 12:03pm —
It’s a complaint you and many others may share: I don’t feel authentic! These 5 questions can help you change this.
If you feel inauthentic, you already know how painful that can be. If you’re a people-pleaser, you know how painful that can be, too. If you feel the real you lives behind a façade, or worse, you aren’t even sure who the real you is any more, use these five questions to shake your authentic self loose from the ties that bind it. I got the five questions from Jairek… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on June 3, 2011 at 10:41am —
You are aware of some costs to you from being negative—too aware, likely. But there’s a new way it might cost you, and it’s not on the horizon, it’s happening now.
How easy it is to slip into negativity, especially when we’re frustrated or disappointed. That kind of approach to life situations is all around us. When we do this, we believe we’re being practical, logical. And we get burned by it each time we do it. When we do this, we’re saying that Spirit does not exist in every… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on May 27, 2011 at 10:52am —
Is Your Mental House Divided?
You know so much about Law of Attraction, you could teach something about it to others. But, living it in faith consistently? That’s another matter.
After all my experiences of the Universe working in my favor and doing what I know works, I still bump into times when old program tapes can be triggered to run in certain situations. At such times, I momentarily forget I know anything about Law of Attraction or that I have a lifetime of proof… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on May 20, 2011 at 10:14am —
Resistance is an automatic reaction to undesirables in your life. Resistance may seem natural, even right, but some instances of resistance cost you big-time.
Resistance creates more things to resist. It creates a constant stream of negative thoughts that lead to negative feelings expressed verbally, physically, or internally through health imbalances and uninspired life experiences.
Look at anything you resist in your life: status of relationships, finances, career, etc.… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on May 13, 2011 at 1:41pm —
Small and not-so-small changes in your routine can create either a speed bump or a bumpy road effect on your life. What do you do when that happens?
Quite a number of people I know experienced major life changes just before 2011, and after the year began. Were you one of them? Significant shifts and lesser ones create something in common: a change in routine of greater or lesser degree.
Often, we struggle a bit (or a lot) with even one small or moderate change to our… Continue
Added by Joyce Shafer on May 11, 2011 at 8:33am —