Can it get better?!? I mean, really?

[Naleilehua]

I can't be the only one who feels like they've awakened from a very long, very bad dream.

I've been trying to get to the bottom of this strange sense of disorientation I've been experiencing. It's not a bad or unpleasant sensation; just ... odd. Familiar, sort of. Just in the way that I feel like I've been here before, and that I keep expecting it to end -- to wake up, as it were.

Back in late August of last year, despite all evidence to the contrary, a large part of me remained cynical and doubtful that the status quo could be upset. My co-worker and I counted down the days until early November, each day subconsciously expecting the boom to really drop, for martial law to be declared, for the absolute end to any possibility of anything vaguely resembling, er, ho- ... ho-p ... just couldn't bring myself to really say it .... hope. That was it, hope.

November came and went. Hope started to surge up from the place I'd lost/buried it back when the oil fields were ignited in Kuwait. Luckily, I got really busy and so the days sped by and I didn't notice that that ... hope thing was hovering around. Probably rising. But it could be ignored in the crush of rehearsals and performances and parties and and and being too busy and tired to notice.

Then somehow, January 20 arrived. Without mishap or tragedy. And I was joyful, like so many people around the world. It felt like belonging to the entire human family, simply sharing that joy. I got up just in time to watch the unfolding of the day, with relative peace of mind, thanks to C-Span. No nattering commentatoring, just the images of faces, smiling faces, so many smiling faces.

Then the words began, and there was that thing, that hope thing, that sensation of life bursting out of my chest, rolling down my cheeks, forcing disbelief into the shadows. Even on that cloudy day, there was such shine, such sunshine.

No catchy soundbites, just straight true talk. Talked to me like a grown-up, like I would understand, like I could see the sense of it, like I was seen, like I deserved respect. No nasty threat talk, no Big Daddy Knows Best dumbing down babble, no ... lies. Just a man with a vision and the determination in the set of his jaw to see it through.

Whoa. What a way to start a morning.

Thanks to the Rev. Joseph Lowery, the ceremonial stuff ended with words that had me laughing out loud. You got your "Amen!", Mr. Bushy-Browed Preacher Man!! www.youtube.com/watch

The rest of the day was hazy, even when the sky cleared. Dreamlike, it was. An afterglow. A rainbow high.

This morning, I awoke with more thoughts in my head about what might be going on in the nation's capitol since

since

since there was a funeral in that majestic place and the whole world watched, weeping.

THIS morning, though, my head was buzzing: shouldn't they replay the oath bit, just to make sure it's done right & proper? Which balls did they go to? Did they stay out late? Will he really start working today, first thing? Can he dance?

OK, OK, I'll explain that last bit. I'm a dancer. Being able to dance is really important to me. Dancing is about being in your body, not just in your head. And when you're in your body, it is possible that you can live closer to your heart. Things that your head would accept may not pass muster when you live closer to your heart. At least I do so believe. It's because I'm just starting to wake up again. I'm just realizing how much I've missed joy and hope. Dancing is joy. See? Makes sense, right? It does to me, at least, and when I got my answer, the joy just burst out and wouldn't stop bouncing me around the room: www.youtube.com/watch

Once I had that answer, I had to find out about the rest. The balls, that was enlightening. Ten. In one night. Fortunately for them, most of them were in the same convention center building. But still!!!

And they danced at every single one.

So I surprised myself by not anticipating that he'd take it easy today. I didn't really have a clear opinion, one way or another, but I did have a mighty curiosity. And as the day spread out before me and the news reports started building, I just woke up. I saw myself and felt my feelings and I realized hope had won. I HAD been asleep, or doped, or duped, or all of the above. It had been such a long, long, unimaginable stretch of months and years that I had felt benumbed. So much sorrow, so much despair, so much pain, frustration, anger, impotence: a recipe for checking out. So much more hopeless than hopeful.

And on a dime, it turned. This is what helped break the shell that had engulfed me:

OBAMA'S WHIRLWIND FIRST DAY: ECONOMY, WAR AND MORE
(from an article by David Espo, AP Special Correspondent)

In his first day at work (after dancing at inaugural balls past midnight with first lady Michelle Obama), President Barack Obama entered the Oval Office and:

• summoned top military officials to the White House to chart a new course in Iraq
• issued new ethics rules for his administration
• hosted a reception at the presidential mansion for 200 inauguration volunteers and guests selected by an Internet lottery
• took the oath of office again
• presented a draft of an executive order that would close the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, within a year and halt all war crimes trials in the interim
• presided over the White House meeting on the economy
• made phone calls to leaders in the Middle East to convey his "commitment to active engagement in pursuit of Arab-Israeli peace from the beginning of his term"
• announced to his staff that "As of today, lobbyists will be subject to stricter limits than under any ... other administration in history." The restrictions included a ban on gifts by lobbyists to anyone serving in the administration.
• imposed a pay freeze for about 100 White House aides who earn $100,000 or more
• dropped by a party for his staff at a packed DC Armory, telling his supporters that they deserve credit for his historic election victory, in part because they didn't know any better. (He said they simply didn't know that a guy like him shouldn't win, that their fundraising model wasn't typical and that the odds were stacked against them.)
• Obama and his wife also played host and hostess for a select 200 at an open house. "Enjoy yourself, roam around," a smiling Obama told one guest. "Don't break anything." [Yes, Virginia, he has a real sense of humor!!]

Furthermore, within hours of Obama's inauguration on Tuesday, his administration froze last-minute Bush administration regulations before they could take effect. Among them was an Interior Department proposal to remove gray wolves from Endangered Species protections in much of the northern Rocky Mountains, and a Labor Department recommendation that would allow companies that manage employee retirement plans to market investment products to plan participants.

No, I haven't gone silly. OK, all right, sillier. Barack Obama is not a magician, and he certainly cannot solve all of our nation's ailments in a single stroke. If he could, he'd be a superhero, and he wouldn't need the White House. And he's not a progressive with an agenda just like mine. But what he is starting out to be is an ethical man with a solid moral compass who can and will serve as the example our poor bedraggled nation needs. With a laundry list like that for his first day at work, he's impressed me enough that I dare to hold hope in my heart that my homeland can be saved -- and to give me a reason to get back to helping that effort with energy and trust. Starting with recalling how to honor and respect the President of the United States. Giving him his due props, and giving him a chance to do right by all of us, his fellow citizens.

Near the end of the day, I got this from a friend. Despite all the rambling above, it pretty much sums up how I feel at this moment:

Dear World,

We, the United States of America, your top quality supplier of the ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for our 2001-2008 interruption in service.

The technical fault that led to this eight-year service outage has been located, and the software responsible was replaced November 4, 2008.

Early tests of the newly installed program indicate that we are now operating correctly, and we expect it to be fully functional on January 20, 2009.

We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage. We look forward to resuming full service and hope to improve in years to come.

We thank you for your patience and understanding.

Sincerely,

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA


Good night America, and may whatever deity you choose to believe in (even None) bless you.

[Marinspin]

Obama is a metal ox and they are hard workers and expect others to work hard. That works for me.