The Lemonade Letters

[Tes.]

Since I no longer ascribe to the fake-it-til-you-make-it philosophy, I keep waiting to feel fully "healed" and "functional" before polluting the morphogenetic field with any more neurotic vomit.

 
Alas, after 20+ years of "self-improvement" and creative implosion, it occurs that perhaps there is some value after all in sharing my challenges and processes with "the world"... Thus, I bring you "The Lemonade Letters"... a blog of introspective musings that will seek to transform my personal "lemons" (the grist life has given me to chew upon) into precious "lemonade"... something of true value and upliftment for all...

I have begun and aborted, or talked myself out of even embarking upon, countless brilliant (my opinion!) projects and offerings, be they books, blogs, articles, songs, cds, stage shows, you name it.  Call it laziness, apathy, poor work habits, life circumstances/obstacles/excuses, personal numerology, human design or astrology... I have found so many reasons NOT to share my gifts... it is a wonder I am still bother to be on this earth plane.

Believing that you are all my mirrors, I look around and see that life is hard.  People are angry, frustrated, thwarted, sad, depressed, scared - everywhere.  Sure, there are light moments, rays of hope if you will, but for the most part, folks seem to be managing their cluelessness, their anxiety and disappointment.  How, oh how do we rise above the density of the third dimension and fly (create) with joyous free abandon??
I look to the sidebar, "Recent blog posts" at The Wayseers website and notice one entitled "Conquering State Fright" by another member... Without yet  reading it I can tell you, herein lies the answer.  Feel the fear, and do it anyway... ultimately, there is no other choice... 

We can give up, go on strike, and refuse to participate in this strange reality.  We can do nothing, become a witness - life is surely absorbing enough when one dares to simply watch... but part of being a human actually is doing - and as long as we have to/get to do something, it may as well be that which is our inspiration - our heart call - if only to deal with the anxiety of being, and "pass time"...

I know one thing... I feel much better about myself when I follow through on an impulse, than when I do not.  I have been raised to be proud of accomplishment.  And while learning to be content simply being (which I have actually done!) is accomplishment in and of itself, somehow, after years of practice, I sense there is something deeply soul-satisfying in greater doing that I am missing...

So, my intention is to keep this up, and share with you, more and more deeply, on a continuing basis. We shall see where this goes...