I named my coaching business "Conversations For Change" because I believe it is in our conversations that we hold the keys to how we create our life on a daily basis. We are constantly engaged in conversation with others and with ourselves that promote change or argue for the status quo. Some of our most powerful conversations are inside our heads and many of them occur beneath our conscious awareness as we focus our attention on the activities of the day.
These inner discussions are rooted in our survival beliefs, often fear based, and they serve a purpose. They may transpire as dialogues with your mind playing both roles or simply the reiterating of a story or belief. Many unconscious thoughts are repetitive 'conversations for no change' that strive to maintain stability and security. Or perhaps the illusion of security, according to Helen Keller who said, "Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."
Daring adventure does not necessarily mean sailing around the world or parachuting out of airplanes. It can simply mean thinking new thoughts, trying new behaviors. A friend wrote me: "Inner life can be quite an adventure...quite a big world in there. Inner life in the sense of connecting with others, that is, in a heart-to-heart land." Relationships with others are often where our most hidden beliefs and fears manifest, and they can take us on what sometimes feels like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. A wise therapist once said to me that relationships are the ways in which we work out our own internal conflicts. It can be a daring adventure to really connect with yourself, to look at parts that have been hidden from view that may indeed control the choices you make in your life. The willingness to bring some of those underground conversations to the light of day, to share them with another, allows us to engage in the innovative process of change. It brings conscious intention to unconscious programming, and expedites our ability to let go of beliefs that no longer serve us and to create new conversations for positive change.