Old Crone? Bring it On!

[Candice Wilmore]

(quoted section below found online)

“Within the next decade, 78 million baby boomers born between 1946 and 1964 will turn 60 — and more than half of them are women.

No face-lifts, tummy tucks, or Botox are necessary for some local female boomers. These women don't feel bad about their necks — or their age. They are "crones," women who are reshaping what it means to grow older by embracing 60 and beyond.

While many may shrink from the term "crone," which conjures up images of a withered old woman, the concept originated thousands of years ago when women's life patterns were conceptualized in stages — maiden, mother and crone.

A crone is not an age, nor is it a time, it is a state of mind for these women. What sets a crone apart, however, is her willingness to tell the truth about her life.”
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I turned 60 in May 2008 and I couldn’t be happier. I wouldn’t go back to the 60’s in exchange for being that for all the moisturizers in Macy’s.

I’m know how lucky I am in that my life is very fulfilled. I don’t much identify now with what I do or how others perceive me like I did for so much of my life. Most of that I credit to something I was given and that I’ve chosen to do, which takes me inside, a sort of self-discovery, and shows me who I truly am.

Some of where I’m am now is also due to a lot of hard work over the years to understand where I came from, what happened to me, especially during childhood and youth, and how to react differently to outside circumstances than I did for so many scary, painful years. In short, it’s all been worth it. I intend to enjoy this time, this freedom, this wisdom and this comfort I’ve finally found. I plan to be a huge opportunist in garnishing all there is in this life I’m being given...for a limited but luscious time.

I heard someone talking the other day about teachings related to life extension and the hope that someday the body can live eternally…or at least a few hundred years. I’m so not interested. Yes, there are health benefits that come from that type of research, but to spend my precious moments trying only to extend them? Nope, not for me.

I have a dear friend who thinks what I believe and feel is complete nonsense. To him, a human being is little more than chemistry and any feelings we have simply those little neurons and peptides colliding in some way to produce an illusion we put labels on like love, peace, joy.

I don’t judge that take on things. Maybe that is what’s happening. Either way, I’m enjoying it, not trying anymore to figure it all out. That’s when the gratitude can manifest and there’s nothing quite like that chemical reaction to get my heart singing. Illusion or not, I just know I can really dance to this beat of life. I’m in love with that feeling, no matter where it comes from.

So old crone? Hell yeah, bring it on. “Youth is wasted on the young” said Georgie B. Shaw and though it doesn’t have to be that way, I’m completely elated I made it this far, cause I sure did waste a lot of time in my past overlooking the good stuff that was there all along.

[Candice Wilmore]

What a lovely perspective you have too Violette and what a lovely name.

I agree that the men in one's life can surely affect how we see ourselves as we age. I've been single for lotsa years by choice. I'm not against marriage and romance, but for me, I needed this single lifestyle for a long time. I do have a child, age 35, a daughter who is amazing. She's taught me more than I'll ever teach her, as it should be. Evolution mm?

Nice meeting you all here. Onward and Upward and more and more fun.

[Jeanne]

"What sets a crone apart, however, is her willingness to tell the truth about her life."

Maybe that is what I am enjoying so much about this group... the truth-telling. My husband and I have debated what is God... he says truth, I say love... but we agree that they are the same, but different aspects of the sameness.

"I wouldn’t go back to the 60’s in exchange for all the moisturizers in Macy’s."

I'll second that... about a decade ago, hubby and I went to a neighborhood bar and grill. We entered through the bar part and walked through to the other side. I was suddenly struck with how comfortable it was... how the men didn't do the usual double-take and the women who felt threatened didn't scowl at him (them) and then me... and how I didn't have to put up my walls to psychically protect myself from those emotions that swirled around just because I entered a room...
and how I was becoming comfortably invisible.

Now when I walk around in public with my beautiful young nieces, I get annoyed at the constant attention they recieve. I feel protective of them... but they are charming and sweet to their admirers... and I realize that at every point in the feminine progression is a gift... and a burden.

[Jeanne]

Thank-you Violette, for reminding me of past stepping stones in my growth.

Louise Hay's "How to heal your life", was a biggie for me. I don't remember how many copies of that book I have purchased, because I kept giving them away. I don't have a copy anymore to give, but will always treasure that I found it when I needed it.

I have a set of Tarot cards that are for the grandchildren to play with and we talk about the art and and meanings of the pics. Yesterday the 2yo kept repeatedly picking up from the scattered pile of cards, the Hermit. I thought, like you said... "This truly is a peak from which we can look down and be grateful for everything that has transpired."

[AkashicWreckage]

Violette said (sagely, I might add): "Thank you Candice for introducing this segment. What a wonderfully healthy attitude about your (our) exalted station in life!!!!!! So many women reaching this stage are preoccupied with the condition of their body and their appearance in general. I would suppose much of that may have to do with having a man in your life that is supportive. Nevertheless, this would be something to rise above. I have been divorced for 26 years, almost as many years as I was married (32), so this has not impacted my feelings about my appearance."

I guess I'm fortunate in that: a) it's ALWAYS been hard for me to actually judge another's age, so I gave up on that, because it was useless to compare myself with that which I had no clue about---most people's ages.

And b) while I care about how I look, I don't care enough to make it a full time job to preoccupy my time.

I've only been divorced about 2 years after being married for almost 25 years. I wanted and needed the divorce or I knew it was all over for me.

You also said: "I believe we have all had to look and deal with our dysfunctional backgrounds just to have survived this long. In my case I would not have made it without A Course In Miracles and Attitudinal Healing. In particular AH which is not a quick fix but rather a process, it gave me the tools to look back on dysfunctional behavior, from the womb on, after dysfunctional behavior. It always ultimately comes down to forgiving self. The day I stopped being a victim and projecting blame outside of myself was the day I began healing.

Seriously, does anyone know of anyone who really and truly came from a totally 100% functional/so called normal family?
ACIM---it's probably the first step I took, beginning to read it and trying to apply the principles...
What helped me, hugely, was Caroline Myss' Sacred Contracts.

The period when I began to heal was when I realized that the Universe was truly delivering me miracles every single day. I had to be willing to see those miracles---I could look at what I was seeing, or I could see the true miracles.