Recently I have experienced a personal version of being non-resistant. This is quite an achievement for a retired captain, as I am used to and proud of being in control. However, controlling had become impossible lately, as my addicted nephew inherited the bulk of my Mom's estate. And I was his caregiver before she was hospitalized. I enjoyed control over him with "tough love" and with economic power. However, this ended with the inheritance. In fact, through the powers of the trust lawyer, he had the ability to make me homeless. And I did get a 30 day notice to leave this wonderful old beach house, but I called a bluff, as the probate was not finished. I emailed my nephew and offered him my half of the rental income of a small condo we had inherited together plus some encouraging words about his recovery. Much to my relief, he decided to stay in the area where the condo and the trust lawyer (who he gets a monthly income from) are located.
However, this meant he would have to come back to this house to move his belongings, and I was concerned about him taking what was not his and damaging the house with his moving out his big leather couch. The thermostat had been broken off when moving it into his bedroom. Added to this was the fact he was coming during an eight hour break between my weekend night work, and it is a vital sleeping time.
When he came, I had just fallen asleep, but the loud noises from moving kept me awake. Now, I wanted to put on my captain's hat, and direct the move, but I decided not to interfere. The move turned out perfect, and he even left a few things that I could use, and did no damage. It may sound like a small victory, but it was a relief to find that he could do things right without my direction. His messages have been less constricted (with anger) both on voice mail and email since then.