~The Vault is Open~
A Journey into My Akashic Records---Saturday, July 25th.
How did I end up here?
The answers would not come.
What has really been going on these past few months?
I've not been able to figure anything out, so I haven't really cared about finding the answers.
So, I did what I used to do back when I believed in all this guidance crap, just a few short months ago.
I opened my Akashic Records.
When this idea came to me earlier today, I immediately looked and found my Akashic prayer, tucked in between a few books where I last left it.
I sat on the side of my bed, focused my attention, and said the prayer, first, out loud.
Well, I can't really say that it was actually out loud.
I had to sort of keep my voice between a half raspy whisper and a mumble.
You know, like the way one would talk if one wasn't trying to alert Beach Buddy to the fact that I was saying---
The Akashic Records Prayer.
I finished saying it out loudish, certain that with the air-conditioner running and the drone of the fan in the bathroom,
Beach Buddy would have no clue what I was up to.
Besides, his morning coffee had begun to work its magic and he was down for the count---
Then I said The Prayer 2 more times, quietly, inserting my name where I was supposed to, so that I could connect with---
The Lords of the Akashic Records.
I almost felt as if I were getting into it...
I felt that I would be guided to be creative.
I pulled my laptop out and sat down and put it where it belonged, on my lap.
I opened up my Google documents and looked at all the material I've typed over the past several months.
While it's a somewhat okay chronicle of the early days of this utter chaotic upheaval that began with Mercury Retrograde---and the lead up into the recent eclipse----
I'm not feeling it, I can't get into bringing the tangents into order so that it makes sense, and reads well.
So, I sat and asked for direction, AGAIN.
I've asked for direction every single damn day now for months.
I've asked for strength to do what needs to be done, and it's been given.
But it's direction that I want.
The Vault has been open now, for---oh-----about 7 or 8 hours and so far---
No Book of My Life, laying temptingly open on a beautiful marble table, beckoning me to read and remember my Soul's Purpose.
No fire crackling in the cozy fireplace that marked this place as Mine----- in the Hall of Records.
No upholstered lounge chair perched off a bit to the side from the fireplace.
No soft golden glow emanating from everywhere, welcoming me Home.
No Pontious Pilate and the Apostles either.
No Spirit Guides to be found in the vicinity, no Saints to be found---
These blissful thoughts were interrupted by my Beach Buddy saying, matter-of-factly-----
"Can't seem to find a shirtless man who doesn't have man boobs in this community!"
He looked at me, and continued----
"Look--- you have to try to contrast your Akashic Records bull crap with your 3-D Reality!
The yin of this is nothing for you at the moment.
The yang of it is that you have geriatric man boobs on all the shirtless males in your community. Sorry."
I was startled by this sudden outburst, and frankly beginning to wonder if he'd lost his mind.
So I asked, "What does that mean?"
Beach Buddy replied, "No, I'm serious. I mean, the reality of this existence is survival amidst man boobs, up against the supernatural change in reality."
Still unsure of what I was dealing with here, and rather mystified as to how man boobs made its way into this Quest for Direction, I was almost tempted to leave Beach Buddy where he left off.
Why engage him?
I had no clue what he was saying, first of all.
But then I thought to myself------- this is making really good dialogue!
I'm about to look over at him and ask him to go expand upon his thoughts.
Maybe this IS the direction I've been asking for?
I'm about to ask him---now asking him---"Ok, what can I ask you?" I suddenly couldn't think of a good question to ask him!
He replied, "Something you already know."
"What do I already know?"--- now this is getting interesting.
"The only pleasure being offered to you at this moment is man boobs in this community! You need to get the F out of here! Otherwise you are contributing to the acceleration of becoming one of THEM!"
Now I wonder----- is THIS the direction I've asked for?
An Escape From Man Boob Hell one way ticket outta here?
Was the answer really that simple?
Was the direction I desired to know, found in an area where firm pectorals ruled?
What would that say about me, if I dared to explore this?
Can a person be Spiritual, and, Judgmental about male chest muscles?
This certainly was not what I anticipated when I opened my Records earlier!
Leave it to Beach Buddy to throw a monkey wrench in my Search for Meaning and Direction.
He just said, "Maybe the reason you haven't gotten anything all day is the fact that the future of your path is getting the heck away from man boobs."
This is actually stunning news to me!
And yet, I feel an uncomfortable twinge, as I begin to slowly realize that he is right.
I've done everything in my power to surround myself in a cocoon of protection to keep me from interacting with men.
If I don't meet men, I can't possibly get myself into trouble.
Yikes--- and even though a part of me is trying to convince the other part of me, that we should be surprised by all of this---
I realize it is true.
Just for The Record---ha---ha---
I was in a relationship that began in the last 9 months or so of Saturn in Leo, and I was in recovery mode when Saturn entered Virgo in the last quarter of 2007.
Beach Buddy just said, "Whether he had them or not, I picture him with man boobs."
He's referring to the man I was involved with, who brought home some serious lessons to me.
What I was willing to barter away of myself, in order to not be alone--- or---to be protected---
What part of my spirit could I push away, so that I would be accepted?
A return to exactly where I had been when Saturn had last been in Leo and making its way into Virgo.
It was when I met my former husband in 1979.
And, I begin to think back on that period of time. I've spent the last 2 years and some odd months, knowing full well that there was something important that I'm supposed to get.
Something that was, and would be, very important for me to realize that I had learned---so that I could understand that I don't need to spend any more time, learning it--- yet again.
I've spent the last two years relishing the fact that my will kicked in to help me walk away from that relationship---and run like the dickens away from the relationship I started about a year after my Ex and I separated.
And the mask that I had eagerly donned to wear during all that time, had been cast to the side.
The Question that Saturn asks now---- is---
What had I left behind in 1979ish that I could now re-claim----and-----cherish?
And, I realize that what I need to reclaim and cherish---is me.
As I wind this down, I realize some important truths---
That I can't judge a guy--- by his man boobs, nor will I.
Just have a bit of hair on your head or bald is okay, as long as the scalp is polished to a shiny glow---
Please no comb-overs---
Be in just halfway decent shape---
Know without thinking about it--- that you have a spark in your eyes---
Have a ready smile on your lips---
Realize that you might have to trim those nose hairs---
Have a quick wit and a Spirit force within you that just won't quit---
Please, don't have the best eye-sight, I am no spring chicken---
Oh---and a pulse would be nice too...
I'm going to close My Records now.
I'd like to thank my Guides for all this wisdom that they willingly brought to me because they love me so much--------but they had better things to do today--- so they left me high and dry.
I suppose I should thank my Angels, God knows they're touchy when I forget to acknowledge them---
And to my Special Akashic Records Guide---he sort of resembles Mr Clean from the old commercials---I didn't feel him around today---
I should still say thank you.
The Directions for The Akashic Records Prayer clearly instructs us to thank everyone involved---so I'm doing that as I end this.
Man Boobs, it just doesn't get any better than that---I can't make this stuff up...