--Post Eclipse Report--
Late Breaking News
From the Great Guides Upstairs---
The guys and gals who brought you last year's work slowdown---
We have an urgent report from all of them---
The gist of this, almost year long backlog of notices and reports, includes the following headlines:
Semi-Ascended People Losing Patience with Slow Ascension Rates!
Archangel Michael Eyes South Florida for 2011 Arch-Angel Get Together!
Archangel Uriel, Sick of Natural Disasters, Consults with God to Arrange for Relief!
6 Brand Spanking New Techniques for Raising Our Vibrations, Touted as Not Worth It!
In the midst of NBC's Late Night Debacle, People are Turning to Meditation to Ease Their Boredom!
Earth-Students around, and up above the globe, have begun to chant, "Give us our Ascension plans, now!"
Concerns are mounting over the gridlock---
Not to mention--- backup--- of---
Earth-Students who have been trying to ascend for many, many, many years.
Grid guards, matrix managers, and ether experts are relying on new outfrastructure blueprints and maps being drawn up now---
Like right NOW, as we very speak.
This will pinpoint the areas most in need of a~~~
Hold onto your hip huggers Students!
A coordinated plan to bring Ascension Insurance which, as coincidence would have it, will boost an already thriving insurance industry.
New reports indicate that there are high risk areas which---while there are a low percentage of Earth-Students attempting to ascend there NOW---
Well, there just might be a risk for a once in numerous lifetimes chance---
Maybe it was a once in 333 years chance of becoming severely overcrowded?
Actually, now that I think about it, it could even be linked to the Mayan baktunovitch---
Or whatever they're calling IT.
It really doesn't matter.
There is a microscopic chance of it happening---
We should be prepared for Earth-Students flocking towards deserted, unlikely, areas.
But anyway, in a bold move, Archangel Metatron is calling on all Indigos, Pinks, Purples, and, a punch of Turquoises---
Along with The Crystal Children (are some of them teens yet?), and whatever else we're planning on calling these new children---
Anyway---yep---Archangel Metatron is calling on them to all just chillax for a while.
This is the recent announcement Archangel Metatron made to them:
"YOU are not the only ones that the Earth-Students are relying on to help them climb those last---
Incredibly hard, those last steps are, towards raising their---" Metatron paused for a moment, trying to regain his composure---
"They think they need to RAISE their auric and chakral energies---
Which will somehow liiiii----ffffft them higher and higher---
And that their vibrations will, naturally, want to follow that---" Metatron's shoulders appeared to droop a bit as he said this.
With that, almost as one super-conscious mind---All the Crystals, Rocks & Colors Children/Possibly teenagers--- understood what their mission now was about...
There was no need to speak, they were all communicating via a super text messaging and twitter system---
Metatron turned away, his attention being drawn towards the small crowd--- growing in size--- just a short distance away.
Immediately, he recognized Jesus, and, right behind Jesus, were several Apostles.
He strode over to Jesus, and, with the back of his hand, he began to sort of push Jesus' shoulder---to get his attention.
Turning towards him, Jesus said, "Heeee---hey, Metatron, what the eff is up in your part of the cosmos?"
Then quickly, Jesus said, "Don't answer that, I already know."
Metatron steered Jesus off to the side of the road, and under a shade tree, then said---
"It's damn serious, Jesus. There's a lot of shi(f)t, pardon the expression, going down---
And I mean dooooowwwwwn, right now," ---gravely--- he shook his head.
Jesus' face took on a more serious look as he said, "What is it? It can't be that bad, can it?"
"Jesus, while you've been busy doing God only knows what---there's been some awful, terrible, shi(f)t taking place!
Never mind what AW and Beach Buddy have been up to, we can talk more about that situation at another time---
But there have been floods, tsunamis, earthquake after earthquake---
Wars, killing, corruption--
The stifling of human spirit----"
Continuing, Archangel Metatron stated, "Uriel is going crazy right now, he just can't keep up with all of this---first the Great Flood--
Instructing Noah, that wore Uriel out---countless storms, countless earthquakes---"
Metatron quickly pulled out a recording device, apologizing to Jesus, "This will only take a minute or two, I have to repeat everything that was just said, so I can record it in The Book."
Jesus nodded and waited.
Out of virtually nowhere, there was a crackling in the air, and Archangel Uriel was on the scene!
"Jesus! Where's God? I've got to talk to him right away, this is a message of high importance!" Uriel said, pausing to catch his breath.
"How the heck should I know?" Jesus asked in return.
"I don't have time for this right now, Jesus, I need to speak with him NOW! I've about had it up to my eyeballs already with this crap---
Disaster after disaster, people are suffering, God, I've got to put a stop to all of this!"
"Pretend I'm God, Uriel, just for a few minutes, you can practice on me," Jesus suggested.
"Fine, " Uriel replied, "We have to do something, we have to do a tad more than the channelings or messages, through those nutcases---
I don't know about any of the other Archangels, but seeing your face, Jesus, on a piece of toast, or in the pattern of grape jelly on a jelly jar lid---
That just isn't anywhere near what is needed!
People need our assistance!" Archangel Uriel just couldn't calm himself down, it was clear that he was deeply bothered.
"Uriel, I have a plan---tell me what you think about it." Not waiting for a nod from Uriel, Jesus continues.
"We have to teach the Earth Students how to figure out what is necessary for this to end, for there to be a real---
Like I mean, authentic---desire and spirit TO bring hope, healing, and compassion---love to others."
"Yes! You get IT, you really GET IT!" Archangel Uriel exclaimed, beginning to calm down a bit.
"But how?" Archangel Uriel asked, "They're so damned busy down there, vibrating, meditating---praying even---which is fine---
I'm not saying those are bad things for them to do.
Earth Students are so wanting to ascend, and by the way---there's a humongous backup of these people just waiting for that right Ascension moment to come."
"This is easy, Uriel. Metratron, where's Metatron?" Jesus called out.
And yes---yawn---there was a shift in the air pressure, as Archangel Metatron finished up his recordings for---
The Book, and walked over.
"Yes, Jesus, what's up?" Metatron asked.
"Where's AW these days? I need her, she's been having some deep thoughts lately. I think it might be fun to listen in, don't you?"
Jesus went on to explain, "She's weird, sometimes I wonder what happened with that one---she's in, she's out---
Rambling on about Mercury Retrograde, Saturn, her mother, Beach Buddy---what are her thoughts lately about all of this?"
With that, Archangel Metatron snapped his fingers, and immediately, if not sooner---
One of AW's guides appeared---
A Guide--- who had somehow agreed to speak with them, but only under conditions of anonymity----
Un-named AW Guide---
"She always complains about the Haitians who manage to wake her up at least twice a week, usually around 7:45-ish, long before she has to get up."
Anonymous Guide continues, lowering his voice confidentially---
"Once she hears their loud conversations, as they are standing by the landscaping truck---
Which is always parked and left running--- right under her window---
Bam! That's it for her! She slams the terrace door shut, expletives coming from her mouth---she's got some New York mouth on her, I'll tell you that!"
"You don't mind that I'm recording this, do you?" Metatron asked.
"Not at all, they're digitally masking my face so there's no way anyone will recognize me, right?"
"Holy Crap and a half!" someone in the listening crowd exclaimed,
A murmuring could be heard, coming from the growing audience---"Can you believe The Brown Robed Monk is selling her out?" one person asked another.
The Brown Robed Monk continued---
Totally unaware that his true identity could be seen by all, "There were times also, "
He said, "when she would wonder, to Beach Buddy. 'Why do they always have to talk so LOUD? It's terribly inappropriate!' she would say."
"Keep going, what else?" Metatron and Jesus said at the exact same time.
They both looked at each other, surprised, and Jesus said, "We said that at the same time, later on we get to make one wish apiece!"
"She's also noticed Haitian women, they work and live all around her.
AW's even worked with one or two, too. She knows there's something about them---
And she's not quite sure what it is---there is, what AW might call, a heaviness, a deep heavy burden-like demeanor, she's noticed." Loose Lips Brown Robed Monk states.
"She remembers when the pockets of Haitian immigrants began to grow in various communities, over the 80's and well into the 90's.
She knows they work here, those few, in the grand scheme of things, who can legitimately get here---
And she's well aware of the stance of the government when it comes to Haitian refugees---
Many times they are returned to Haiti.
AW is also well aware of the jobs many of these women have to take---the lower paying jobs.
She knows many of them do house cleaning, but much more than that---
Many of the Haitian women are caregivers, HCA's, LPN's, some nurses---to the vast elderly population in Florida."
There was a pause, and Jesus said, "I'm tapping into her right now! The importance of this, thank God, is not lost on her."
AkashicWreckage, talking with Beach Buddy---
"I feel that what many Haitian women do, are those tasks---that the children, brothers and sisters, grandchildren can't do, or be there to do---
For their parents---for their grandparents---
For their aunts and uncles---
They tend to them, they bathe them, feed them, help them---and are with them, until often, the very end of their days on earth."
Beach Buddy asked, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yes I am, we see them here all the time, pushing the wheelchairs---their strong hands helping to steady our neighbors as they walk them to the car---
You've seen them when you're in Publix---" her voice trailed off.
"Perhaps this is what she feels, when she feels that heavy burden energy---this is part of what they do, what they carry with them---" The Brown Robed Monk stated.
"They, the Haitian people, ARE all around us---we see them in our lives----and we see them on the news.
They often do, what we can not, or will not, do.
Their misery has been documented, over and over---for decades." Wreckage called over to Beach Buddy as he was finishing up in the kitchen.
"So while she complains about the loud noise in the morning, she understands that these amazingly enduring people---
Have something vital to teach her, and, the rest of the world." The Brown-Robed Monk finished.
With that, all eyes turned towards the heavens to watch the scene taking place in the sky above.
Archangel Michael , having been suddenly summoned from one of his perches---
Somewhere, or everywhere--- from someplace in, or around, the world.
Anyway, it seems, that the Grid-Guards, Matrix-Managers, and Ether-Experts were having problems getting along.
Each of them had different ideas about stricter Traffic Control, due to mounting tensions within the Earth-Student communities.
Delays were being monitored by Ether-Experts---
Matrix-Managers had the daunting task of ushering those rare few, who were permitted to finish Ascending already---
Through all of the matrices, down the ether trails, hip-pity, hop-pity, sending those Souls along the conveyor belt of Ascension---
But the press of humanity against the already crumbling walls separating the dimensions, meant that construction barriers had been erected to keep those babbling maniacs at bay.
Control of these Still-Trying-to-Ascend-Earth-Students, was becoming impossible---
The constant whining of Still-Struggling-Earth-Students could be heard, despite the construction of a sound barrier---
Archangel Michael had been summoned to be the ultimate mediator of this near crisis situation brewing above---
Michael announced, "Lordy---Lordy! This has got to change---there just either has to be a shi(f)t--- or they'll have to get off the pot, is all!"
He shook his head, saying aloud, "Just what are you all thinking? They don't belong here yet. They can ascend another time, when we don't have so much going on down there."
Uriel chose that moment to stop by, intrigued enough to flash over---
"We need some crowd coordination here, this is a job for Jesus, Moses and maybe even Enoch---
But wait! Metatron, how do we get Enoch here, when you were once Enoch?" Uriel asked, scratching at an impossible to reach spot on his back-- right near his left wing.
Metatron stopped his blasted scribing and recording for a moment, a puzzled look on his face.
"Ive never thought about how I could be Enoch, and let's not forget about me, Thoth, Hermes, Mercury and am I forgetting anyone else that I am, has been, or will be?"
Motionless, Metatron was seeming to be trying to be all of those guys at once, and yet failing.
"Leave that to me, Metatron, " Jesus' voice said--- from somewhere, "we'll get the whole crew if need be up there in a few seconds."
As heavens often do---
The heavens parted to reveal a bunch of real life, Ascended Masters.
And so it was---Jesus, The 4 Pillars of Protection (for those who don't know AA Michael, AA Uriel, AA Gabriel and AA Raphael) joined in with:
The Apostles, and my all time favorite---Serapis Bey--
Quan Yin appeared, and, of course, Metatron's twin, or cousin---
I can never remember which---but also, Sandolphan appeared-- (playing the drums I think)---
And, well a whole bunch of big shot Almost-Ascended-Masters were also on hand to pitch in to bring the unruly Earth-Student Crowd under control.
Tens and tens and tens of thousands---
More like probably hundreds of thousands if not millions of Earth-Students were milling about---
Some pushing, while others were just trying to maintain their space---
Trying with all their might to be centered---
Checking their Now wrist-watches which were---
Of course---flashing Non-Stop Now crap---
Every single last second, all Now long---
Talk about boooooor---ring!
Yet others were chanting---
Trying with all their collective might, and voices---to bring themselves into trance---
Which they hoped would---enhance---
No one would be ascending this particular day!
The crowd of Earth-Students parted, as Jesus and The Gang walked peacefully through.
Jesus climbed up a particularly glorious cloud, and stood magnificently framed by golden light.
I know---golden light---but it's Jesus---he's supposed to be in golden light, no?
I can't get into a discussion now about the color of the light---there's just not time for that right now.
Jesus is saying:
"St Francis of Assisi said it best:
Lord, make us instruments of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let us sow love~~
Where there is injury, pardon~~
Where there is discord, union~~
Where there is doubt, faith~~
Where there is despair, hope~~
Where there is darkness, light~~
Where there is sadness, joy~~
Grant that we may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console~~
To be understood as to understand~~
To be loved as to love~~
For it is in giving that we receive~~
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned~~
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Let us hold the energy for all those human spirits on the island of Haiti so that---
They will come together, work together, and look out for each other---
Care for each other---whatever is put before them.
I know we can send them all this energy of peace, and I know it will be present with them.
Let us hold the energy and vision that everyone on Haiti--- in need of medical care, pure water, food, safe shelter---
Will have their needs met.
I know we can send them all this energy of sustenance, and I know it will be there for them.
Let us hold the energy of support for the rescue and relief workers, on the island of Haiti---
Let us hold them all---within our hearts and send strength to them.
I know we can join together as individuals, adding our love---
And sending that love, and caring---compassion---
Let us hold this vision---for our brothers and sisters---in love---
A silence fell across the crowd---a few stragglers off to the side were still trying to find a good place to relax.
"Let's get yer arses movin'!" a voice bellowed.
"Time to get your heads back down to Earth---
There nothing else to see here, just move it along!" Archangel Michael, dressed in SWAT gear, boomed.
The crowd of Earth-Students began to dissolve, scores going down and a little towards the east---
And slightly over to the north--
And back down to the south.
I know we can hold the energy of love for all there, and I know it will be there for them.
Till the next time Earth-Students---
Since I had no clue what this would be when I first began to type this---
And was surely distracted by all the comings and goings of Jesus and The Crew---
Let's all be one, in love~~~~~
For the skeptics---juuuussssst in case there really isn't enough room for us to be comfortably one---
We can be all be one and two---in love---
The two will be immediately next to all of those who are in the one---
And so on, and so forth---