~~The Gunslinger~~

[AkashicWreckage]

Written September 5, 2009

The day began quite typically. Woke up, wanted to call out of work, went to the bathroom, and then made coffee.
Coffee finished brewing, got a cup and went back into bed to sit and drink it while online.
Read the news, CTTB, AOAND, went over to read a couple of message boards that I lurk on for laughs---

Caught up on family email---
Usual stuff.

At about 10:15 - 10:30ish, I thought I saw something in the dresser mirror, which is right opposite me.
This mirror also reflects the sky outside.
I realize that I am seeing something in the mirror and it is something flying outside.
I walk to the terrace doors, and I see a turkey vulture flying past my screen and it's heading across the street.
I walk out onto the terrace and sit down.

The sky was quite cloudy and yet it wasn't gloomy out. Very strange clouds also were in the sky.
As I sit there, I realize that there are a couple of turkey vultures flying around, right across the street---
I see one begin to land and it drifted out of view.
I realize that the vulture is landing in the courtyard for the building right across the street and the courtyard isn't very big---

I'm thinking all of that as I was sitting there---and then my mind begins to wander.
The next thing I know, my attention is drawn again to the sky and I see, like--- about a dozen turkey vultures flying very slowly, a ways up in the sky---
But headed definitely close by.
I'm thinking, what the heck is going on here?
I realize what the vultures are all about---I've seen them around dead animals and fish before.

So, my mind is wondering, "Is it an animal that's died or something else?"
Another part of my mind answers back immediately, "Do NOT even think about going there!"
Back to the other part of my mind, "I can think whatever I want, I don't have to listen to you!"

Again, suddenly, I see more turkey vultures, this time it's a whole group of them, swirling around overhead---
Almost drifting around, and downward, slowly, in a spiral like formation. Their wings spread out magnificently as they swooped around.
A few vultures broke off from this group, almost right overhead, and then drifted slowly, towards the courtyard across the street.
I lost count at 30 vultures flying above the building across the street.
Then slowly they begin to move, still in formation, drifting slowly to the south---
Never in my life had a seen anything like what I had just witnessed.

I've seen vultures, maybe 3 or 4 of them at a time, feeding on whatever it was they were drawn to.
The amount of turkey vultures I was seeing, far exceeded the normal amount.

I go back inside, opening my bedroom door to see if Beach Buddy was up and about.
He was still gently snoring, aviation grade ear phones on his head and I'm sure he had his ear plugs in.

I closed my door and went back to the sliding glass doors.
I see a pattern of shadows being thrown outside---and I open the door and walk over to the screened outside wall of the porch.
I look outside and up to the sky and see a large number of the vultures, swirling overhead.
Totally weird.

I decided that I had to google turkey vultures to see what the meaning might be---and I'll get to that meaning in a bit.

I tell Beach Buddy about all of this when he gets up and then I promptly forgot about it as I began to get ready for work.


On the turnpike, in one of the worst blasted rain storms of the rainy season so far, I prayed in earnest.
I usually pray, but this time I was very serious about it.
I invoked every last angel I could think of to help us stay safe.
I also threw in a request, as usual, for some kind of sign for us.

I usually do that because sometimes we just don't get enough signs from Spirit and I was hoping that we could break this sign drought that we'd been in.

Beach Buddy navigated the torrential rivers of water on the roadway.
And his expertise, combined with I'm sure Divine Intervention, brought me safely to work.

It was a weird day at work. The energy wasn't as frenetic as previous days, but system issues kept mounting throughout the day.
Finally, the tempo began to wind down as the evening approached.
My coworker and I were working on emails, the usual stuff.

I saw that a couple of emails came in, and I went to right click on them to see what they were about.
Of course, I was expecting a customer complaint---or some bizarre request from a customer.

So, I high light the next email and right click--- and immediately appeared these words:

Your Appointed Time

"For the vision is yet for an appointed time, though it tarry, wait for it."
Habukkah 2:3

Then, a bit down from there, the following:

"God has an appointed time to fulfill the visions, dreams and desires in your heart.
Just because it has taken a long time or because you've tried and failed, doesn't mean it's not going to happen.
Don't give up on those dreams!
Don't be complacent about pursuing what God has placed in your heart.
Our God is a faithful God.
No matter how long it's been, no matter how impossible things look---
If you stay in your faith, your appointed time is coming.

Remember, every dream that's in your heart---
Every promise that has taken root---
God put it there.
And not only that, but He has every intention of bringing it to pass.
Hold on to that vision today by declaring---
"My time is coming. God is working behind the scenes on my behalf. I will fulfill my destiny!"

As you continue to hold on to that vision and speak life over your dreams, you'll see them take shape.
You will see your faith grow.
You'll see your hope strengthen, and you'll see yourself step into the destiny God has prepared for you!"

I began to read it aloud as I was reading it, I just couldn't help myself.
I was nearly in tears, it was just so much the absolute last thing that one would ever expect to see in a customer service email from a customer!
I look at my coworker, and I asked, "What are the effing chances of THIS kind of an email hitting our queue?"
She had no answer, she was as amazed as I was...

I printed it out for her and I made a copy for myself.
About an hour or so later, I was reading it for about the 10th time---when I see this:

"Father in heaven, I receive Your truth today.
I receive Your promises today.
I ask that you ignite my heart with Your holy fire so that I can pursue Your perfect plan for my life.
Make my thoughts and words agreeable with Your will."

That part, I didn't like so much. But I couldn't put my finger on why.

I actually joked with my coworker about how to answer the email, and I questioned her as to whether or not I should answer.
And then I realized that I had to acknowledge the email message in some way and that's when
I emailed the person back, thanking them for contacting us and taking the time to share that message with us.

About 10 minutes later, the person emailed us back telling us to ignore the email that it was sent in error!

Error, my arse!

On the way home, Beach Buddy and I discussed the timing of the email, the answers it might be providing to us.
Then we got on to discussing other things, like the vultures I had witnessed circling around, earlier that day.

When we arrived home, I looked up Vulture and here is what I found:
"Vulture reminds us to use past experiences to create positive solutions.
Vulture's gifts include keen insight, patience, trust, resourcefulness and flexibility.
The key is to be fully open to the purification of the psyche.
As the old is removed, the opportunity for renewal can take place."

And this:
"Their trust in the creative force to provide for them is unshakable. This trust is one of the main teachings they offer those that hold this medicine."

While he was making dinner for us, we got to discussing the email again.

I began to read the email out loud, and realized why I didn't like that last part.

It means total trust---to walk in trust, be in trust and to allow that trust to meld with our hearts.

I said to Beach Buddy, "I just don't know if I can trust Spirit, know what I mean? Where's the proof of performance?
Yes, I know I'm still alive and all that, but seriously---how do I know that I can trust?"

He had no answers, we both struggle with trust.

As I'm re-reading some of my writings today, November 11th, this was my last bit of writings before other things in my life took over.

As I'm trying to go back in time, to the day I wrote this, I find that I can't go back.
Usually, I don't have a problem flipping back in time. I can get myself back into that energy, with very little effort.

This time it's different.

My thoughts are brought to the last word of my writings that day---trust.

I still have issues with that trust, I don't get why it's why an issue, maybe it's because:

The little me perched on my left shoulder is saying, "Where's the proof? Go with the proof!"

And the little me, sitting comfortably on my right shoulder is saying, "Go back and re-read this,
'No matter how long it's been, no matter how impossible things look---
If you stay in your faith, your appointed time is coming.' It's about faith and hope."

Left shoulder me replies, "Faith, schmaith! Hope, schmope! Where's the proof that this will have a payoff for her?"

Right shoulder me answers, "What payoff?"

The Gunslinger me suddenly fills the room and knocks the two me's off my shoulders.

Gunslinger, eh?


Great, like I have time for self examination!