How do you express unconditional love for yourself?

[Linda Lawson]

Hmmm. They say every question that arises within us , has an answer within us as well and surfaces when we are ready to learn its message. Let 's see what I am ready to integrate.

(At the suggestion of another, I have adjusted the discussion question to include the word "unconditional". Unconditional is defined as "' love that presupposes no conditions upon willingness to love regardless of how self or other responds because there is no expectation of return of that love.)


Uncondtionally loving self shows up when I can hold a space of non judgement that I can draw upon when I've stepped out of my roles , taken off the masks that I or other expect me to wear, stepped back from all the responsiblities.,the shoulds, the coulds. Its just me standing alone
in the truth of the moment. This is what I am . Just me. Just me. checking out what I truly feel in this moment about some aspect of my walk on planet earth.. How am I doing? Do I accept who I am? Are there any ..".but u are like this" and "if u do this , I can accept u ", or "when u are this way I can accept u, u will be okay."

I have witnessed how much discipline it takes, how much will it takes to to be in acceptance of self and other no matter what. It is not such a generous quality in this 3rd dimension of being and doing.

It is acknowledging and giving audience to what matters in one's life. .. the heart is the door , the gateway to full self acceptance.there is no measuring or comparing.

One's first response from this seat of compassion is to love all that is. How would it be to be like that in all moments. ?

Our choices determine how our lives will go. Yes there are consequences. Would we learn which direction to go any other way?

So how I express unconditional love for self is to discipline myself to notice what I send out and receive energetically.In this way, I am responsble for the thougths and feelings that I entertain .

Otherwise, to be drifting thru ife as I once did, basically at the mercy of every projection others sent my way , at the mercy of my own projections toward self and others., I was ismply spinning the same stories to live thru over an d over. Experience,.... judgement of it cause more experience ... then more judgement .

The most loving thing for me to do for self is to stop the fast descent into negativity .Learning to co-create my reality ,to raise a feeling from its lowest form to higher resonances is to experience a purposeful joyous life. It is a conscious generous act that expands exponentially ..








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[Lee]

Hi Linda,

This is a hard one, as for me my inability to love myself completely is a barrier to the source of the very same problem. It is difficult to have done something hurtful, and understand that for where I am in this moment I needed to protect myself. As understanding deepens, I can forgive the past, even understand the lack of a need to forgive, but in the moment ohhhhhh man. Do not get me wrong I do not intentionally say hurtful things, but at times, I will notice a slip into a place where my thoughts are not born of truth or love. Again this is protection, a way to keep a situation from exposing something I am not yet in touch with enough to understand. It is not my fault I do not understand it, and occasionally I recognize this in the moment of the slip, and that is loving myself. More often than not though I beat myself up and create a barrier to the source of this inability to love. It is a vicious circle, and one not easy to get out of. Soon enough though this moment becomes my past, and it heals, and I learn one more small thing. In this way my understanding grows, and there is one more small thing that I will not hide from next time. Another piece of my truth has entered my conciousness. Through this process I am learning love, and how important self-love is. If we do not understand our own transgressions, we can not love them, if we cannot love them, we cannot love other's transgressions, if we cannot love other's transgressions, we cannot love others. To love others we must understand ourselves, and I am pretty sure when it is all said and done, that the only thing to understand is that it is all OK, even the bad stuff.

[Linda Lawson]

Hello Lee,


Thank you for responding to the discussion question.You gave me lots to reflect upon.

I have amended the question to include the word unconditional love.. You were already disucssing love as it manifests unconditionally in the folowing quotes:

"I can forgive the past, even understand the lack of a need to forgive.... as well as " the only thing to understand is that it is all OK , even the bad stuff."

I can say for self that expanding my awareness of the gift of unconditional love has opened many new doors to what is possible for me.

Can I forgive the past? How powerful a move is that? If I am operating in the good vs. bad paradigm, its my only hope for moving forward. When I evoke gratitude from within self , yes, thanking the hiding bits ,so fearful of letting me see what they are really like, when i really truly feel them with thankfulness for the learning they bring, the resonance I hold raises . This opens the door for the fear, the judgement of whatever I felt to go on its way. Some things are easier to lovingly confront in self than others.

Your writing speaks to what I know about the ' hero's journey. It is a path of self reflection, of loving self ( and other ) no matter what....courageously letting the disapppointing , hurting bits have their moment with us face to face..

I repeat the ending you gave. It works for me, too.

"Through this process I am learning love, and how important self-love is. If we do not understand our own transgressions, we can not love them, if we cannot love them, we cannot love other's transgressions, if we cannot love other's transgressions, we cannot love others. To love others we must understand ourselves, and I am pretty sure when it is all said and done, that the only thing to understand is that it is all OK, even the bad stuff."

Who's next?

[Ron Alexander]

To accept and love the "unlovable' parts of me! To transform the inner tormentor to an inner comforter. To accept the help and healing of others! To have absolute belief (or to act "as if) in a higher Power and Its helpers - angels on earth and angels in Spirit! And to ask ALL for the help I need at the time. To live in the Now - to meditate with the breath and with mantras and do what it takes to get to the place of supreme Awareness where this is no thought! - only unconditional radiant bliss! No mistake, Ron

[Linda Lawson]

Dear Ron.


Your words are spot on from where I sit.

It is the unlovable parts of self that we continually focus on in others ,isn't it? I am very thankful these "others" exist . That's how I know what I must embrace wholeheartedly in self.

" To live in the Now -....to do what it takes to get to the place of supreme Awareness where there is no thought !-only radiant bliss."

You have said a mouthful that evokes pages of response on the different "how tos" that have crossed my path.

There have been and continues to be many ways that the environment in which I live reflects back to me this message of truth to me.Each one carrying me a bit further along to living in the Now..

I find witnessing for where I am holding judgement on any part of my experience is a full time practice. Why do I care about judgement? That is the mechanism for freezing up our feelings that we seem to have chosen on the planet ,its very popular,as a group ,to stay asleep.,to be free of responsiblity.

Upon waking fully, we understand we are totally at cause for what we experience and how we experience what life brings our way. I have heard this message many times in the last five years. I could accept it intellectually.

Now I actually know it and I see my reality change with each unlovable bit of self that I reclaim.Each time we choose to love unconditionally, we expand the energetic resonance of our heart and we get more clarity , more radiance.

It is more resourceful to view judgement in a self reflective state. Bashing for choices made, holding on to choices made , dirties the vision again.


We judge what is in our minds unlovable. Well, that runs the gamut of who is looking at what,doesn't it? It's all a matter of perspective. The cessation of judgement begins when i/we are able to feel unconditionl love for whatever it is we have judged.

l no longer want time off to drift out of my body, day dream ...,find someone else's dream better or worse than me,. escape the present reality.

Now I desire Awareness. I desire to live, breathe, feel what I feel and let it go. This moment is my opportuntity to be fully present. to be burning the emotional residue that I have hidden away or refuse to feel , that clouds my vision.


So breathing thru it , breathing thru it , breathing thru it, letting it be as it is , loving it ,loving our choices.always rechoosing to hold the highest potential for the "new "...each time we do this we expand the possibilties to be in Awareness.


thanks , Ron,for the message.

[Ron Alexander]

My favorite Rumi Poem:

The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond

(translated by Coleman Barks)

[Candice Wilmore]

There's so much caring and thought put into the posts here I almost hesitate to add my own comments. "How do you express unconditional love for yourself?" being the topic one thing that's helped a LOT is simply growing older and seeing that indeed, I will not last here forever, which inspires me even more not to waste time on useless things that lead nowhere...like not loving myself. I mean, when will it end? Always finding something new to pick on myself about or finally saying, "hey, I do my best" and getting on with the business of being alive and trying to enjoy every day that this is still the case.

I'm not a big fan of the "here after" theories. I like to be sure. I like to KNOW, not just believe, so when it comes to this most important topic, I feel strongly that my time to love myself is now, now, and now. I make that a priority and with the help of my teacher and friend, Prem Rawat, who showed me exactly where that most pure and true love is within me, I am able to turn that on not just those around me, but on to me. What an incredible, incredible blessing.

And yes, words do fail to really express and describe what happens when that love we find is given back to use, BY us. It's nothing short of a miracle, in my view.