Croneness = Crone finesse (A survey)

[Jeanne]

I don't know what wild hair moved me to start a group called Crone to the Bone
...but that's how I'd been feeling.
...it was like my inner radical punk, vegan grandmother came out.
I wanted to be part of a group with an in-your-face, primitive name... not a neatly starched apron-wearing, apple pie baking crone name. (actually, lets keep the apple pie);

...I wanted to talk to other women of maturity who were knee-deep in real life
...family, career, relationships, businesses, property, stress... stuff
...who'd rather stay home and talk via their computer. Women different than many we see everyday.
...yet, one and the same.
...so much smarts, humor, wisdom and grace... expressed in gently chosen words, reassuring phrases and supportive, smart-ass expressions of truth
...and amazing stories of determined existence and bouncing back.

Cyber-grandmas...

I have a few questions about crones...
Please, tell me what you really think... and it will inform my questions...
and who knows, maybe even be an answer?

Answer any or all questions that move you to express.
If you want to speak anonymously, please send me an email.
I understand that cronehood, aging and its necessary adjustments are sensitive subjects...

I am interested in hearing from you.


1.What image does the word ‘crone’ conjure up in your mind?

2.What moved you to join an online crone group? (if you did...)

3.What possibilities do you see for global online crone communities – a concept unheard of until only a few years ago?

4.Describe your personal experience with:

a.the comedy of crone,

b.the tragedy of crone.

[Ron Alexander]

"Bubba to the Bone" - funny bumper sticker I saw today. The past middle-aged guy driving a late model Saturn did not look like a "redneck" either. I guess to be honest, I have to admit I can identify more with bubba to the bone than "crone to the bone", although I prefer the latter by far!

I like what Joan has to say above "comedy of a "bubba" laughing at myself - its a good thing. At first, I missed the "chemistry' of sex appeal, but now I see it is just a big relief, not to have to deal with it - more important things.
"Older sailors do not get older, they just get a little dinghy." no mistake, ron

[Ron Alexander]

I had last message and hope it didn't stop any dialogue. When I was writing about "bubba", I was thinking of the Bill Clinton type as Bubba, as that is what many called him as a president. When I used the word "dinghy", it is a small boat but also could be thought of as being forgetful or a little dizzy which does describe me partially. peace, ron

[Jeanne]

Thank-you Joan... for responding to the Crone survey.

It said that when young... we are a body with a spirit, and when older... a spirit with a body. Either way... we still strive to balance our seeming dual nature.

Joan Gregori said:

Crone, to me, means an old wise woman.
I joined the group because, with age, I feel wiser. Maybe, it's because the physical body is not as important to me anymore.
Comedy of being a crone would be laughing at myself, which I do all the time. Especially, when I have temporary memory lapses. Sometimes, when I'm driving, I forget where I am. Must have killed some brain cells along the way. ;)
I don't think there is a tragedy. Maybe, losing one's sex appeal?

[Jeanne]

Hi Ron... I love "Bubba to the bone"...

Strange... every Bubba I've ever known was a big man... never knew a grandma Bubba.

I too think the 'chemistry' of sex appeal is good riddance... it got old being hit on all the time by strangers... it even annoys me now when I walk around with my cute, young nieces and they get the cat-calls, whistles and hoots... guess I'm just old and cranky... and they are just a noisy distraction.
However... intimacy is better than ever, for me, in my long term committed relationship... The genuine sharing of ourselves, opening of our hearts and supporting one anothers journey... is far better than the insecurities that came with youth.


Ron Alexander said:

"Bubba to the Bone" - funny bumper sticker I saw today. The past middle-aged guy driving a late model Saturn did not look like a "redneck" either. I guess to be honest, I have to admit I can identify more with bubba to the bone than "crone to the bone", although I prefer the latter by far!

I like what Joan has to say above "comedy of a "bubba" laughing at myself - its a good thing. At first, I missed the "chemistry' of sex appeal, but now I see it is just a big relief, not to have to deal with it - more important things.
"Older sailors do not get older, they just get a little dinghy." no mistake, ron

[Ron Alexander]

"Strange... every Bubba I've ever known was a big man... never knew a grandma Bubba."

No, I was not even thinking of my grandma, whose name was pronounced "Booba", because we could not pronounce her real name - "Ruby". She was a schoolteacher in a two room rural schoolhouse, which is barely still standing, with crooked steeple on it. I am glad they have decided to allow it to stand as long as it will. It brings back sentimental memories, and reminds me of the opening scene of "Fried Green Tomatos" being covered by Kudzu vines. She was a "tough love" beloved schoolmarm, and supportive wife of a dairyman/farmer.

When I saw the bumper sticker - "bubba to the bone", I immediately smiled and thought of Bill Clinton, whose enemies called him that. So to me, that is a positive association!

Although, I did experience some grief the first few years of not having that chemical attraction, I find that my inner light when shining bright brings in a much nicer friend of both genders. And the more I meditate, which I am devoted to now, since the Vipassana retreat, means the my light shines more often and for longer periods, which means more high quality friends! Yea - Crones to the bone and Bubbas aspiring to be Buddhas to the Bone unite!

[Jeanne]

Still laughing over this one... "Bubbas aspiring to be Buddhas to the Bone."

Ron Alexander said:

"Strange... every Bubba I've ever known was a big man... never knew a grandma Bubba."

No, I was not even thinking of my grandma, whose name was pronounced "Booba", because we could not pronounce her real name - "Ruby". She was a schoolteacher in a two room rural schoolhouse, which is barely still standing, with crooked steeple on it. I am glad they have decided to allow it to stand as long as it will. It brings back sentimental memories, and reminds me of the opening scene of "Fried Green Tomatos" being covered by Kudzu vines. She was a "tough love" beloved schoolmarm, and supportive wife of a dairyman/farmer.

When I saw the bumper sticker - "bubba to the bone", I immediately smiled and thought of Bill Clinton, whose enemies called him that. So to me, that is a positive association!

Although, I did experience some grief the first few years of not having that chemical attraction, I find that my inner light when shining bright brings in a much nicer friend of both genders. And the more I meditate, which I am devoted to now, since the Vipassana retreat, means the my light shines more often and for longer periods, which means more high quality friends! Yea - Crones to the bone and Bubbas aspiring to be Buddhas to the Bone unite!

[Ron Alexander]

Yes Jeanne, I think "Bubbas aspiring to be Buddhas to the bone" can describe some of us "Jimmy Carter/Bill Clinton" type of Southerners of which I am proud to be.
Violette, to be honest, what I describe as libido came up (hmm, "bones") during the ten dayer Vipassana retreat and sometimes since, however my roommate at the "ten dayer", on the final day when we could talk, reframed it as "kundalini", which could possibly be the cap "L" Libido that you mentioned? It is just so different for me as an elder, than when I had to pull my shirt down many times during the day in discomfort. One Mind, One Love, ron

"Ooooh dear am I caught up in low vibrations???????????" Violette exclaimed - Sweet One, You are a very Live person, and a beautiful Being! So the answer is a resounding No! You are dealing with the Highest of Vibrations!

[mary rose]

Jeanne, i do not have a lot of time to participate in this group; however, have been just scrolling messages and lapping up the pearls today. And as i do this want to tell you that you have such a marvelous way about you -- so full of grace and caring for others. with love and appreciation.

Jeanne said:

Thank-you Ymani, for your response to the crone survey... and for the pearls you placed throughout.

"We have the auspicious opportunity to truly make the difference we are capable of making."

You really touched on something here that I believe is vital to croneness. The 'opportunity' is a sacred responsibility... and one that is hard won. It is not one that any other can do for us... but is one that we must do for ourselves and the benefit of others. It is made more difficult by the longstanding patriarchy and image of crone as a dejected, unwanted and powerless being. Pshaw... to that!

"It is time for the balance of the feminine to rebirth within us all."

So true... and we can thank the women who paved the way to today... who did not have the benefits we have ...to create community, to reinforce one another across the miles.

Thank-you again... Ymani, of the beautiful name. Your presence blesses and benefits us.

[Jeanne]

mary rose said:

Jeanne, i do not have a lot of time to participate in this group; however, have been just scrolling messages and lapping up the pearls today. And as i do this want to tell you that you have such a marvelous way about you -- so full of grace and caring for others. with love and appreciation.

Thank-you Mary Rose for the kind words... I know you are a busy lady... and I appreciate the efforts you put forth for the good of all... but I would like to invite you to check out the www.cronetothebone.ning.com site. After starting the CTTB as a group... it became clear that the time is ripe for a CTTB site.

I think the mainstream bullpucky that prefers old women to quietly retire to loneliness and despair is a harmful message. Women of maturity are in their time of greatest power... a time to nurture and mentor... a time to counsel and advise... and a time to let loose laughter and healing love on wings of urgency. Women need each other to remind them that they are capable and valuable... and that even seemingly insignificant acts are important.

Thank-you again Mary Rose, for your strength and inspiration.

[susan]

~The Crones of Old where anything but......old withered woman. They were knowlegible woman , in Nature and had a vast insite in Herbs and Midwifery...amongst other things...I am proud to be a Crone...lol!!! Love and light Suan~