Variations On A Theme

[Bob Ballard]

During our recent events, I had the opportunity to meet and talk with dozens of people about the project and about my vision for what is possible for people without homes. Most everyone I spoke with understood the vision and some found a powerful place for themselves in it. One of those people is Laura.

Laura was homeless off and on over a period of 3 years, mostly because of bi-polar disorder. Unfortunately, she did not know that at the time and like many people, was attempting to medicate herself to deal with her symptoms. After living on a friend's couch for awhile, her friend moved and Laura was on the streets. She went to an overnight county clinic for help. They told her she couldn't stay because she wasn't suicidal or psychotic. So out she went at midnight when they closed for the night.
She hid in the bushes in a nearby office park, trying not to be seen. In process she became cold and wet and finally had to get out of her clothes so they would dry. As the sun began to rise, she stumbled out of the bushes with a quilt wrapped around her naked body. She hadn't slept all night, so she headed to the beach to lie down and rest, the only peaceful place she could think of.

As the morning rush hour drivers raced to work, she trudged 5 miles to the beach. She looked at everyone, waving, hoping someone would help. Her feet were bare and they hurt as she walked. No one stopped, she cried and stumbled along until she collapsed on the beach.

As Laura wandered the streets of Van Nuys, CA during another homeless stint, she began to believe she was dead. No one looked at her, no one talked with her, no one even acknowledged that she existed. She struggled to understand how this could be so. Eventually, she concluded that she must be a ghost, a spirit of a dead person still walking the earth. She believed she must have died but didn't know it.

While she was in a treatment center for the mentally ill, she talked with other people who were there. Some of them "saw" things and said they lived in a "spirit" world. In this world, people could sense things and feel things intuitively, without the use of a thought process. However, they were afraid to share this with their "handlers" because they would be classified as crazy, incurring a number of unpleasant experiences. Laura believed that these people where not crazy. She thinks that like a blind person who develops extremely acute hearing and touch, people with brain impairments develop other senses to compensate. In their case, the "mentally ill" developed intuitive senses that operate outside the logical thought process of the brain.

I found all of this extremely interesting and would like to know what you think. Please share your ideas.

[AkashicWreckage]

Interesting topic.
When I worked in NYC, I used to see homeless people throughout each day.
I used to pass a group every single morning, on the east side of Grand Central Station---the same ones, day after day.
One of the homeless, a woman in her 30's---used to make loud observations of the so called normal people, passing by---
She was spot on, and I used to laugh. I didn't know the people she would say these things about, neither did she---but we all passed the same spot each day, during our daily commute to work.

I found myself looking forward to hearing what she would say, of course praying she wouldn't articulate her observations about me! And each day, I was rewarded with a belly laugh that took me through the doors into the mass of humanity inside Grand Central.

One day, she did single me out---lol---but she said, very loudly, as she pointed her arm towards me---
"She's only in this for the laughs!" and she smiled at me. I realized then that there was a connection and my eyes met hers. Something I hadn't allowed before that---it was sort of known that---if you didn't want to be "bothered" by the homeless in NYC, don't really make eye contact.

Don't make eye contact...
When we did make eye contact, I felt her human-ness, like someone had pinched me hard. It hurt to suddenly realize what I had done previously, by NOT making eye contact. I realized that somehow she KNEW me...
And that one of the most important ways that we humans validate each other, show our respect of another's worth---is when we make eye contact.

Decades later, in another state and in another phase of my life, I encountered other homeless people---during a time when I was studying A Course In Miracles. The woman who led the group that I was participating in, used to say, "Whomever you see, is you. The homeless person on the street---that is you." She would say, "we want to believe that person is NOT us, but it is. IF we are all linked together---we are all that homeless person. What separates us?"

I don't suppose I've answered your question, I do agree with Laura though, these people are not necessarily "crazy."
Thanks for bringing up this topic!
AW

[mary rose]

Bob, Thank you for posting this and my heart goes out to Laura.

Due to my recent experience with a man who is "bi-polar" i have now approached Dr. V. Vernon Woolf, who has had extensive experience in treating bi-polar disease, with assisting me in creating a rehab program for those suffering from this disease -- one which is frequently misdiagnosed and which also has "add-ons" in the form of addictions. And, in particular to drug, alcohol, and sexual abuse. According to research conducted here on the Internet, bi-polar disease is frequently accompanied by "hyper-sexuality" and, may be a driving force behind rape and other sexual crimes. However, further research will need to be made to verify this.

Many of those being treated for drug addiction and alcoholism with the conventional AA treatment method used by many rehab centers, may, in fact, be suffering from bi-polar disease. And, in this instance it appears that the underlying disease, which in fact is "the cause" may not be treated. Thus, a victim, being treated for alcoholism and drug addiction only, once being released from a rehab center will in a very short time revert back to the old habits of using illegal drugs and alcohol as a means of dealing with their underlying psychosis. I recently checked the recidivism rate for a treatment facility here in San Diego and found it to be 35%. It should be 0 if Bi-polar and other nervous diseases are treated according to the recidivism rate related to Dr. Woolf's program.

Another factor we are looking at here is that Bi-polar individuals are frequently prescribed Lithium as a way of controlling their mood swings and other associated disorders. However, what i have discovered, both by research via the Internet and with talking to a victim, the Lithium does extensive damage to the liver and kidneys, and at some point a bi-polar person will cease taking the drug for this reason and resort to the use of alcohol and/or street drugs in order to alleviate the pain (both emotional and physical in some instances) associated with Bi-polar disease. They are simply forced to use some alternative method of dealing with both their hyper-sexual behavior and mood swings once Lithium is no longer an option. But, little consideration is given to this challenge by the conventional system. And, we must find an alternative to this line of thinking/acting. And, I am committed to this end.

However, i must point out here that i am not a licensed therapist and am acting only in the capacity of an investigative reporter. However, i will be working under the supervision of Dr. V. Vernon Woolf as well as with a person who has been a victim of the current system to create a Foundation for Research and Education on Bi-Polar Disease.

And, as a former homeless person and now "Spokesperson" for the Hearts of Fire Project and Founder of the Future Dawning.org Learning Center and Think Tank, will be much involved with the design of a program to alleviate the pain and suffering of those with disabilities.

I also agree with the observations posted here by AkashicWreckage, that these people are not "crazy". Nor are they "no- good-sons-of-bitches who cannot manage their alcohol or stay away from drugs" kinds of people as labeled by many who fail to understand emotional and nervous disorders of this type. :

Mary Rose
www.futuredawning.org

[mary rose]

Coincidentally, i found a website and video re: Bi-polar Disorder just a few minutes after i made the post below. And i would like to share i with everyone. http://ittakesgutstobeme.com/blog/?p=389/ Am unable to locate part 2 of this, but will keep looking. But with regard to Lithium, the cure appears to be almost as bad as the disease itself when one considers the damage to liver and kidneys.

Another note i would like to make is that people suffering from Bi-polar disorder are frequently receiving disability income which amounts to about $860 a month here in California. While better than nothing, it is far from enough to live on with any degree of security here where an average room rents for $650 to 850 a month if one is to live in a decent area. Rooms renting in the $450 price range, and which are few and far between, are in the lower class neighborhoods where drugs and alcohol are prevalent and finding "healthy" friends with whom to associate is difficult. So, if one is not able to live with family, life can become quite difficult. Another problem is that many people are not inclined to rent to someone who has Bi-polar disorder.

And, of course, getting a job is out of the question as almost no one will hire these individuals. And, i recently posted an article to my "Co-learner's list which i have facilitated for almost 15 years now, which was entitled: "Is Poverty Now Illegal?" And it was a report as to how many cities are making it illegal to sit, stand, or lie down on city streets as they attempt to get rid of the "homeless" problem. And, at a time when due to foreclosures and increasing jobs loss, homelessness is now on the increase.

Also of note here is that approximately 20% of the people in the United States are deemed to be "legally mentally ill." This is a very high rate, and when coupled with the fact that fully 40% of all illegal drug production is consumed here in the U.S. with only 5% of the world's population, these figures become truly staggering. One has to ask: who is left to run our country? But when one considers the crazy acts that we, as a collective consciousness, are doing, e.g, using depleted uranium with a half life of 4.5 million years in weapons of mass destruction and committing to "unlimited" war in the Middle East, one has to wonder if we are all insane.

And, in my humble opinion, one of the first orders of the day must be to move into TOTAL WELLNESS.

[mary rose]

I am posting here Part III of: It Takes Guts to Be Me, by Elizabeth O. which gives an inside look at bi-polar disease.

ittakesgutstobeme.com/blog/?p=455

Indications are that this disease is on the increase.

[Jeanne]

Mary Rose said: "And, in my humble opinion, one of the first orders of the day must be to move into TOTAL WELLNESS."

I agree... and we cannot do that until people stop consuming refined sugar, HFCS, fluoride and having mercury put in their teeth... for starters.