My Recovery

[Jackie]

Maybe I can tell a little bit about my recovery and what happened. It is a long long story so guess I better condense it down. Living 80 years has been a journey for sure, believe I started out like everybody else, born in Minnesota and had a fairly loving family, had no idea how loving until it has disappeared from my life. That is the beginning of my story. Had friends, and also was able to follow a little of my dreams, spent a lot of time with my grandparents which was great and this is where I learned about love, unconditional love, was a tomboy sort of for I loved to hike around and find beautiful places, help little birds who fell out of their nest and other small critters, kind of liked fishing but was alwys sad when I caught one for they looked so sad, sometimes I threw them back if they were allrlight. Loved all animals, especially the horses, my favorite next to dogs, learned how to milk cows and sometimes helped in the fields a little, the fields smelled to wonderful just loved the farmlands always and the wonderful foods that came directly from the earth, not out of a plastic container, how times have changed.
Anyway remember when first tasted my first alcoholic drink, at first didn't like it at all but later kind of liked it for how it made me feel. Had no idea what was to happen while I continued with this bad tasting stuff but a stuff that somehow allowed me to not remember so many of the sad times.
Continued on for quite a few years, controlling and becoming very allergic to alcohol for sure.
Did some strange things, ah yes for sure.
Today a different story for have a number of years without that so called magic elixer, not magic for sure at least for me.
Looking back over these many many many years and wondering, aha!! No regrets and a very grateful sober person this year and have been for 28 years, learning that any problems I ever had were definitely my own doing so that leaves me with a load of (stuff) to let go of and sure have and the repercussions of letting go of all the old ideas has helped me become aware of life totally, just in time for all this to happen (today) but it is okay. For I can see my mistakes, which have turned into lessons of learning by far, more grateful.
Kind of neat to look back and realize I just saw history in progress, participated in it and am now witnessing the end, not of life but a new beginning, sure am anxious ti review what will happen. Blessings in love and light to all.

[drmike]

Jackie,

Thank you for your story, it's inspirational--meaning infusing of hope.
I am aware of a gentleman who at age 65 got sober, and now at age 90 is quite healthy, joyous and free. He does not even wear reading glasses! So there is hope for us all.
I am grateful for this moment to look at NOW, and be comforted in a reality that I am not alone. Struggle is the attempt at addressing the unmanageablity of life. Thanks for reminding us the real solution is through prayer and meditation, so the rightful authority can help us handle it.

Best wishes,
Mike

[Jackie]

Kind of feel like talking in prose
And that is what I shall do -
Just remembering the many walks
The hikes along the beaches or-
In a mountain sceinc ridge
The sauntering in the evening with a friend
Watching the beautiful sun set
Tis all in all part of my life , this thing called walking.

Love to walk
Especially with my little 4 legged companion
Whom also loves her walks
Thru the woods, by the river, totally awesome for sure.

Whereever. with whomever going nowhere
Just walking down the trail
To our ectasy for sure
Breathing in and breathing out.

Totally relaxed
No negativity around
Tis all positive
And beautiful to behold.

Oh the wonder of it all
From childhood to -------
From here to there
No specific destination
Just where the wind blows
Or the sun shines
Or the snow falls
Whatever tis all beautifull.

[Jeanne]

Thank-you Jackie, for that condensed long-term view of your life. So many lessons to learn and so many options to choose from... it is the hard times that most alter us...isn't it? Because the narrow middle path of balance and equanimity seems to be reserved for those aha moments... and the rest of the time we are swinging wildly like a pendulum.
Thanks for sharing your reflections... they are much appreciated, like the bread crumbs left along a trail assisting others on this mysterious journey. Metta, Jeanne

[AlwaysLove4U]

thank you so much for sharing....it's good to hear about others who sometimes stumble along thier path but have the strength and courage to pick themselves up and continue on...it gives hope to others who may be struggling to pick themselves up...much love to you today and always

[AkashicWreckage]

Dear Jackie,
Brava! The truth of who we are, eventually reveals itself. I can't wait to read more from you and I thank you for sharing this with us.
Blessings,
AW

[Lynn Fishman R.N.]

Thank you for your sharing. I am always grateful if someone ahead of me can share what the various decades has meant to them in the changes and challenges that they bring.
Please find the time to share a little of your wisdom with us. We would love to hear what you have to say.