Can & Should You Love Your Ego?

[Ron Alexander]

In my life, I loved being a sailing ship captain. I enjoyed being in charge of the boat and everybody in it. I was definitely a Capt. Ego. Yet, this controlling part of me helped me to a place several times beyond the body into the blissful state of feeling oneness, freedom, and timelessness.

Here is Webster's Dictionary definition: 1. the self as distinguished from others
2. the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that is the organized conscious mediator between the person and reality.

The definitions of "egocentric, egoism, egotism, and ego trip" align more with metaphysical sinister interpretations of the "ego".

Duality is "having a double character or nature."

Oneness is a number denoting unity, and unity is a Reality in Metaphysics. "Be as one, as my Father and I are one" Jesus said.

Isn't splitting off our "ego" going against our goal of achieving Oneness?

Even if we consider the ego to be "the enemy", Jesus said to "love our enemies." Besides, don't most spiritual teachers direct us to love ourselves unconditionally?

I was blessed in being in ACIM study group in 1986/7 in Tiburon Ca., where I was working with Jerry Jampolsky at his wonderful Center for Attitudinal Healing (CAH). Much of the CAH Principles were derived and thankfully simplified from ACIM. I still use one as a mantra/prayer without ceasing called "Choose to be a love finder, rather than a fault finder". It is very helpful when I find myself becoming judgemental. Can we apply that principle to the "vicious ego"?

Now, what can I find to love about my ego? Well, I like that "conscious mediator" definition for one, but I agree it is usually unconscious.

Eckhart Tolle writes in A NEW EARTH: When you observe the ego in yourself, you are beginning to go beyond it. Don't take the ego too seriously. When you detect egoic behavior in yourself, smile. At times you may even laugh, above all, know that the ego isn't personal. It isn't who you are. If you consider the ego to be your personal problem, that is just more ego.

Meher Baba said that while we are in our body, the ego is needed to get us to higher places.

Carl Jung said that the problem is that we let our egos be our masters, when they should be our servants.

I imagine Bill Thetford's ego had a lot to do with him becoming a Ph.D. and being a dept. head at Columbia U. As well, I am sure Marianne Williamson"s and Eckhart's egos had a lot to do with them writing inspiring books?

I have noticed that when "Gurus' from the East live in their transcendant state, they have quite a staff of maids, servants, body guards and others devoted to them. Recently, I even attended an event for a former nightwatchman for an Avatar who passed in the 1950's. I was impressed that this honored elder had his hand maidens waiting on him hand to foot.

Muhumuza Kenneth & I had a dialogue about egos and my ego enjoyed his humble reply to my "An Unconditional Lover would love their ego":

Ron:
"After all, we could not exist in this world very long from a young age without a well developed ego. At the same time, we want to avoid being an egoist or being egotistical. I think demonizing the ego activates it - causes it to be defensive and slows our ability to be non-defensive and non-judgemental"

Ken's humble reply:

"Albeit we can Understand it all from a personal perspective the more we ponder about it from a Universal perspective, yet still the general Truth is that "What we avoid...We only make it stronger".
knowing that the Law Of Attraction draws to us that which we consciously try to avoid, it makes perfect sense to say that Unconditional Love would definitely embrace individualistic Ego for a Positive experience..."

Thanks Ken, welcome to our group, you have so much to offer!

Please join our dialogue about the big "E"!

[Amya]

hello sandra - you put into words so well what i was envisioning as a response - thank you!
...love all of us, every part of us has a place in our being...and as we expand, we will find more to love and add to the balance of who we are/have been/are becoming
aa

Sandra Daubney said:

Yes we can love our ego. It is a part of our whole being. We can cherish it, love it and tell it how much we appreciate it. This way our ego feels safe and loved and loses the need to fight us. Our ego then becomes an ally and a companion on our spiritual journey..

[Ron Alexander]

Thank you Sandra and Amya, here are two replies from my blessyourhearts.blogspot.com:

RC Collins said:
By all means we should all love our egos. The ego is a tool to teach us our lessons as we journey through this lifetime. Without ego there would be no development personal or otherwise. Although competition feels like such a negative we learn from it. If we look at the world today and all of the availability of materialism, if put in the right context, it is a perfect tool to teach us right from wrong, wants from needs. Ego feeds on materialism and personal development. The following post is an article I had written about ego a few years ago. I still believe it holds true even though it sounds like the ego is our worst enemy, which it can be, but once we understand its place it allows us to let go of self, or rather embrace the self allowing the ego to become insignificant. We cannot achieve this level until we go through the cycles of the ego. We must. If we were all void of egos we would be like robots walking around without feeling. Once we realize that the ego is simply a tool to introduce us to our higher selves them we are able to let go of it and replace it with unconditional love, compassion and understanding of our fellow beings.

The Ego Explained-
The ego can drive people mad. Ego is nothing more than self, inflated or deflated.It can tear us apart quicker than an atomic bomb. It has the ability to delude our reality, cloud our judgment, and effect us emotionally any way it sees fit. It is like a disease, much like cancer. Most people are unaware of its manifestations and the effects it has on, not only oneself, but the universe as a whole. No matter how much we fight it is always there looming in close proximity, connected to every moment, testing us from every angle. It picks us up, it knocks us down, it falsifies worthiness and hopelessness, it praises us and degrades us, it can drop a grown man to his knees and even drive him to suicide. Oh, have I mentioned that it isn't real? It is a false perception of our true selves. It serves only one purpose - to teach us.

Ego is a tool we all possess which serves to teach us, if we allow it. It enables us to become closer to spirit. If we choose not to learn from it then we are bound to it like a ball & chain. Ego limits our ability to expand our sense of true self by making us believe that we are our ego. Because we listen to and believe everything our ego tells us we put a wall between spirit and our development as spiritual beings. We believe everything our ego tells us and because of this we hinder the process of awareness.

The first and most important step to overcoming ego is to become aware of it and to realize that it is the motivation behind every action and reaction that we initiate. It is the driving force to be better than, want bigger than, and have more than others. It whispers in our ear that we are less than, worse than and unworthy. Ego serves its purpose, but there comes a time in our spiritual growth where we realize that it is time to graduate from ego. It serves us well as a learning tool, but after a while we must let go of ego and implement all that it has taught us. This is where people get stuck. We hold onto it because we fear that once we let it go we are nothing. On the contrary; once we let go of ego we become everything we are meant to be.

In order to let go of ego we must replace it with compassion, tolerance and love. We have to realize that we are all in the process of spiritual growth and healing. We all learn at a different pace and it usually takes many lifetimes to complete the process. Once we understand that ego is there to serve us through this process and is only a tool then we begin to understand that at some point it has to go back into the tool shed. Once we put ego on the back shelf the possibilities are endless.

P.S. "
Carl Jung said that the problem is that we let our egos be our masters, when they should be our servants." This is exactly what I am talking about. Ego serves us as we become spiritually adept.

When love replaces fear ego becomes obsolete. For example: Two men stand face to face ready to engage in combat. Though they may fear the physicality of the situation, to some degree, it is the fear of being seen as inferior or losing what they deem superiority that they fear the most. When love replaces that which they fear the most the ego is diminished. Ego feeds on fear. Fear of being and not being. Fear of not being smart enough, pretty enough, successful, rich, popular, funny, talented, etc... Fear of being labeled. Once we are labeled (pretty, smart, successful, rich, popular, etc...) we are expected to live up to expectations. If we fail at these expectations we are then labeled failures. Fear of failure is a huge ego crusher. It seems to be a lose-lose situation. Once we learn to let love replace our fear ego is dissolved. It is the learning how to let go and let love in which is the hardest.

UB said...
It's hard to let go of the ego and allow our loving side blossom except of course if we lived in a religious order or a place where like minds live? There are so many ego people around, unfortunately we are always on guard. My understanding is that underneath the ego is wisdom and bliss.

[Lee]

My identification with ego, which has been strong, to this point in my life has brought many trials. These trials have been the exact lessons I needed to move into a new union with my ego. A union in which we interact with the world together. Earlier in life I was all ego, and did not know any different, does anyone early in life? We are defining ourself, seperate from the whole, and in doing so creating our special gifts to present to the whole upon our return. Gifts that will be a piece of evryone beginning a trek back toward the whole. This return is slow and its beginning may be signalled by the recognition of the ego. Upon such recognition we begin to question everything before and seeing the world very differently. This questioning is a confusing time, and I, as well as many others I know, tended to struggle against the ego, which fought back. This time can appear destructive. I believe it fights back, because it knows we are not done with our lessons, we are likely never done with our lessons, and the ego is the perfect mechanism to hand us lesson after lesson. Cooperation with the ego simply expedites the process so that we may handle more lessons in a given span of time (life), but then we get into time, which begins to look and feel a lot different as well (that is another discussion). In the end we will knowingly love the ego for what we have learned, or we will unknowingly love the ego for what it defends us from as we stagnate and do not learn. Eventually though I believe everyone will bump up against more than they can handle from a completely ego identified state, recognize the ego within, and begin the process of loving the lessons as opposed to the defenses the ego offers.

Disclaimer: Everything I write is off the cuff and open to criticism as it is nothing more than a thought in a moment shared with the intention of offering that moments perspective to assist in moving dialogue along. This is in the hope these conversations do not die. As to how any of my opinions fit into a larger picture, I am not sure except to say that the opinions are derived from my larger picture, which is obviously no more and no less than one human's perspective.

[Ron Alexander]

Lee, I am very impressed with your thinking. I think your disclaimer is absolutely not needed - I think you are saying that your thinking is "stream of consciousness"? Well if that is what you meant - it is not a "stream of unconsciousness" and it answers what I wrote to start with:
"Duality is 'having a double character or nature.'

Oneness is a number denoting unity, and unity is a Reality in Metaphysics. 'Be as one, as my Father and I are one' Jesus said.

Isn't splitting off our 'ego' going against our goal of achieving Oneness?"

Thank you: I now copy your conscious answer:

My Title: Reuniting With the Ego

My identification with ego, which has been strong, to this point in my life has brought many trials. These trials have been the exact lessons I needed to move into a new union with my ego. A union in which we interact with the world together. Earlier in life I was all ego, and did not know any different, does anyone early in life? We are defining ourself, seperate from the whole, and in doing so creating our special gifts to present to the whole upon our return. Gifts that will be a piece of everyone beginning a trek back toward the whole. This return is slow and its beginning may be signalled by the recognition of the ego. Upon such recognition we begin to question everything before and seeing the world very differently. This questioning is a confusing time, and I, as well as many others I know, tended to struggle against the ego, which fought back. This time can appear destructive. I believe it fights back, because it knows we are not done with our lessons, we are likely never done with our lessons, and the ego is the perfect mechanism to hand us lesson after lesson. Cooperation with the ego simply expedites the process so that we may handle more lessons in a given span of time (life), but then we get into time, which begins to look and feel a lot different as well (that is another discussion). In the end we will knowingly love the ego for what we have learned, or we will unknowingly love the ego for what it defends us from as we stagnate and do not learn. Eventually though I believe everyone will bump up against more than they can handle from a completely ego identified state, recognize the ego within, and begin the process of loving the lessons as opposed to the defenses the ego offers.

"Brilliant!" (adds ron)

[Linda Lawson]

"Albeit we can Understand it all from a personal perspective the more we ponder about it from a Universal perspective, yet still the general Truth is that "What we avoid...We only make it stronger".
knowing that the Law Of Attraction draws to us that which we consciously try to avoid, it makes perfect sense to say that Unconditional Love would definitely embrace individualistic Ego for a Positive experience..."



I agree here you guys. That which we resist does persist.

It brings up a point for me to remember as I "clear the veils", "peel the layers" , "take off the masks."..however, one wants to say it...

We are responsible for every thought word, and deed that is of us. NO worries. This is how we learn which direction to take in life..

Whatever we are in judgement of will show itself in our lives thru the people we know and the experiences we have. This is why loving our choices made by our egos is so important.

Its the beginning of being able to self heal. Judgement speaks of an emotional wound. It's a call for love and understanding for oneself .

It's pretty amazing what surfaces for self and clients in my work.I see this all the time as we get to the core feelings. Th e reactions we have toward others are usually ultimately about self.

When we are holding judgement toward ourselves and our actions, we are witholding love . We will have repeat experiences of that feeling or action until we are able to release the judgement. We may leave a situation to avoid a certain person and we will attract another of the same type of person unitl we transform the feelings we have about him/her.

Yeah, love the ego for sure,its part of us .I'd add to respect its role. It judges, It assigns right and wrong. It loves power ,etc.. I d 'add to be in sovereignty over your life. To be the captain of your ship , so your highest truth determines your daily direction,,,not ego.

Thanks, Ron and Muhumuzua Kenneth. Your desire to know truth is inspiring.

This is one perspective . Always run everything thru your own way of seeing and understanding.

[Ron Alexander]

WORD FOR THE DAY - "FOR ANY ASPECT OF YOURSELF"
Monday, Jul. 13 (gratefulness.org)

Every time you express gratitude
or compassion for any aspect of
yourself or someone else,
you breathe life in.

Mariah Fenton Gladis
Tales of a Wounded Healer