You Crone, You!

[AkashicWreckage]

When I first saw this group, my eyes just about jumped out of my head! Instantly I knew that someone (Jeanne) had infiltrated my thoughts! Well, the door was open, but still Jeanne--- ;-)

Several years ago, during an online discussion (fight) about a topic I cannot recall, someone called me a Crone. The word jumped out at me on the computer screen, and I laughed out loud when I saw it. The person who called me a Crone, had inadvertently used the one word, at the most perfect point in the discussion, that pleased me---I knew this person had an amazing command of words, and I knew that she had chosen her words to act as weapons, and yet there was NO way I could be anything but happy with the word she had chosen to hurt me!

I thanked her in my responding post, and went on to post about the Crone archetype and why I was so pleased, and honored, that she had used that word to me. She kept yammering in her replies that it wasn't a complimentary word, and yet I had to tell her that it didn't matter what her intention was, the word had POWER for ME.

It was also interesting to me that she was trying to hurt me with a word that perhaps many women would find derogatory. That raised other thoughts in my mind at the time--- and now. We are in a time when women compete with each other, hurt each other, but more importantly---try to silence each other. This other woman and I were almost the exact same age, came of age during the same times of transition and power for women---and she had the need to wound others. I recognized that this desire or need to hurt, had to have been born from her being wounded or hurt. I also knew that I could not assist her...

That discussion and interaction with another, and her chosen word weapon, was timely. I was at a point in my life when I was realizing how much of my outer-me-stuff was falling away. I ain't no spring chicken anymore! And, I understood that it didn't matter to me, what my age was, and what the season of my chicken was---

How powerful we are, even as there are those who would seek to silence or wound us.

I truly believe this power and wisdom, coupled with our experiences, are an integral part of the how we can participate in helping our Sisters, no matter their age, to meet the challenges ahead!

Ya know----You are all Crones, so there!
Blessings!

[AkashicWreckage]

Violette's throat chakra has entered the discussion with:
"In addition to being a crone I am a broad. Paul Newman used to refer to Joanne Woodward, his wife, as one of the last of great broads. I like!!!!! Sorry this does not contribute much in the way of wisdom, however, as much as being a woman I like being a broad! And my throat chakra needs to express its truth."

LOL! To speak or express one's truth---very timely! I'll add my Lizabeth Scott's throaty "Amen!" to that! I have spent the last hour or so wondering why I've been clearing my throat since I woke up---perhaps an important heads up to what the day may hold for me---hmmm! :-D

[Jeanne]

See me grinning... I love that crone story, AW. Reminds me of Eleanor Roosevelt's quote, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

I also think about the fear in that other woman of growing old. How could someone hold that kind of attitude about what they are becoming without great fear and desperation? And we see it... women who have become caricatures of human beings. I want to love them so hard that they can also learn to love themself... but that's not how it works.

It is interesting what you said about women who "try to silence each other." When I was 14, my aunt and grandmother sat me down to give me a "talking to". I had screwed up somehow, that I don't remember... but what I do remember was them telling me that it's a man's world and we women just have to buckle under. I didn't say anything, but deep down, I was thinking... that won't be me. Fortunately, I was born in an era when alot of other young women were thinking the same way.
So I read the books - The Female Eunuch, The Second Sex, The Feminine Mystique, etc. - and went to a womens center and engaged in classes and discussions, until I tired of talking about getting acquanted with my vagina and male bashing. I decided that being a 'liberated woman' was in the way I lived on a daily basis, the choices I made and my willingness to be a change agent. I also read Male Liberation, because I wanted to raise a healthy, confident son.

I can't think of a better time to be a woman. Had I lived a hundred years ago - a half breed girl, abandoned by her parents - I probably wouldn't have lived long or well. Instead, here I am, celebrating the liberation of cronehood. I truly believe it is the best season of a womans life.

[Jeanne]

Vivacious Violette, Whatever you contribute is valuable... it needn't be intellectual. Haven't we spent enough time already checking our words so they're appropriate 'for the children' or palpable for the man or the PTA or our bosses or whoever would be shocked, disappointed, pissed off... if we said what we really meant? Here... on Crone to the bone... lets agree to say what we feel or think... let the chips fall where they may. I can't think of a safer place to share my authentic me. And I want to thank each of you for that. Jeanne

Violette Ruffley said:

Thank you sweet spirit for starting this discussion, hopefully next time I can contribute something intellectual. Bless us all, Violette

[AkashicWreckage]

Jeanne said: "I also think about the fear in that other woman of growing old. How could someone hold that kind of attitude about what they are becoming without great fear and desperation? And we see it... women who have become caricatures of human beings. I want to love them so hard that they can also learn to love themself... but that's not how it works."

But that's not how it works, you said---I feel sadness reading and saying that...We've come such a long way...but to where? In the huge strides made since the 60's (and even moreso since the 50's) that women have enjoyed, for lack of a better word coming to mind right now, where exactly ARE we? I don't mean to whine...

I realize that we are all responsible for our own choices and even the choice to be fearful about aging---and the extent that perhaps many will go to, to present a different face to the world, and themselves...

So, who is responsible? Of course the answer is that they are...but there is so much for us to do, to assist...

[AkashicWreckage]

Jeanne also said: "It is interesting what you said about women who "try to silence each other." When I was 14, my aunt and grandmother sat me down to give me a "talking to". I had screwed up somehow, that I don't remember... but what I do remember was them telling me that it's a man's world and we women just have to buckle under. I didn't say anything, but deep down, I was thinking... that won't be me. Fortunately, I was born in an era when alot of other young women were thinking the same way."

I wonder, when we see what we see, in other women's relationships, if many women just do have to buckle under? Yes, a choice made----and I believe a price being paid.

I don't recall my mom really focusing at all on "issues" with the changing times that I came of age during...or talking about what kind of world it was, she was very busy with 6 children and the first 4 of us born 2 years apart. She was living the world it was, and I too thought (and probably said out loud), "that won't be me, and I won't be you." Not that it was suggested...

I think I was quite blessed, I was not discouraged, and not encouraged, and yet my parents were far from apathetic when it came to me, their daughter. It was interesting, and remains so, because actually what my parents did was they provided me with an incredible foundation. I received an amazing private school catholic education which was not at all easy for the family to swing.---AND I was fortunate to receive that education at a very liberal time in that particular diocese on Long Island. Brilliant teachers, and the concepts of leadership and responsibility, along with accountability, were quite unique at that time.

I was also encouraged to do for myself---actually, most times it wasn't a choice, it just was the way it was...
I grew and thrived.

But, I still realize that there were times in my life when I had to buckle under...


So I read the books - The Female Eunuch, The Second Sex, The Feminine Mystique, etc. - and went to a womens center and engaged in classes and discussions, until I tired of talking about getting acquanted with my vagina and male bashing. I decided that being a 'liberated woman' was in the way I lived on a daily basis, the choices I made and my willingness to be a change agent. I also read Male Liberation, because I wanted to raise a healthy, confident son.

I read similar books, one that sticks out in my mind now is "Games Mother Never Taught You," very useful information relating to getting along in a man's world! More recent books within the past 10 years include "The Way We Never Were," a great book by Stephanie Coontz. For my boys, "Real Boys," by William Pollack.

I think I really began to understand the full circle I'd been walking when I made the decision to end my marriage of almost a quarter of a century---a decision that I made on my own terms, and in hindsight, at the most perfect point in time. It wasn't so much the act of ending the marriage, it was the choice between the fear of being on my own and growing old before allowing myself to be myself.

It's been an interesting journey! :-)

[Candice Wilmore]

Thanks for this and yes, I love being a Crone now. Best time of my life.

[Candice Wilmore]

I like calling myself an "old broad" too, V.

Hey, if hunky Paul saw his wife that way, a pretty good example!

[Jackie]

Thankyou for those wonderful words that always seem to come at the right time, we are the crones of the world, for we have been there, done that and hopefully learned our lessons well, of course I am or can only speak for myself - but inadvertently speak for others as well.
I love this time for not only have I found the peace, love that was searching for for so many years,and I might add always in the wrong places, have today found serenity the total bliss of a quiet mind that gives me all my desires each day, always on a unconditional basis I might add, totally awesome.
Grateful I found this website it is like walking through a portal into the truth of everything, so totally a believer in the truth and have been, just was unable to express it until now.
We too are the powerful ones that have been there and experienced life in the raw, and definitely learned our lessons well and progressed to a higher realm, thankyou thankyou thankyou all. love you. Jackie

[SPIRITVIEW]

...IT IS A JOYOUS RELIEF TO BE A CRONE...MUCH FREEDOM TO GO WHERE SPIRIT LEADS...TO WHERE NEEDED...THEN MOVE ON FROM THERE....TO BE IN THE MOMENT...TO LOVE AND CARE...

WHIST WALKING ALONG THE LONELY BEACH...IT IS GOOD TO KNOW YOU ARE ALL WITHIN REACH...

...FOUND WITHIN AND WITHOUT, THE WISDOM SOUGHT ......ASPIRING TO INSPIRE OTHERS BY SHARING WITH ONE COMPASSIONATE VOICE...AND LISTENING WITH TWO OPEN EARS...SINCE IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT ME, AFTER ALL... IT IS ABOUT WE...